Who Needs Sensitivity Training?

So this post might be a little controversial, but a certain discussion has led me to believe that it is something that should be addressed. Everyone knows that I love my son, with all of my heart. There is nothing that I would not do for that little boy, not a galaxy I would not cross, not a cost that is too high. But when it comes to preparing him for what is out in the world, I find that a key lesson that my darling Tony taught me seems to be just what the doctor ordered: If he can not learn how to laugh at himself, then he will not have the proper self confidence to deal with bullies when they come along.

For those of you who know my family, know how we are, if we like you, then we will joke with you, and make fun. This is how it is in our community that I grew up in, how my parents are, how my siblings are, how all of my friends are, how the love of my life is. If I teach Alex that it is ok to be sensitive, I am setting him up for a lifetime of pain because -NEWSFLASH- not everyone in the world is nice all of the time.

Yes, this is written in defense of myself for something that someone said about me. I am not going to change who I am because of some oversensitive, religious (which is where I think the oversensitivity comes from) fanatic, who doesn't understand jokes, and gets mad at people -ONLINE-. I swear, if I got as offended as quickly as this person did, there is no WAY I would have been able to handle WoW, let alone excelled at it. It has shown me that I am definitely proud of who I am enough to handle jokes, I have enough self confidence to not be -THAT- way. I will continue to be this way so my son learns and is not one of the weak, whiny youth that (are rather annoying) cannot defend themselves.

My son has learned when people are joking with him. Everyone who loves him doesn't make fun of his different ability, but rather when he does something that is not normal to the rest of us, we call him goofy or silly. Just because it is not something we ourselves understand, that doesn't mean that he doesn't. He is being taught how to respect himself enough to make fun of himself, and respect others by us showing him where the lines are. Verbal boundaries are very important to teach him, because of his issues with language and how he understands things differently than we all do.

This is not me making excuses for who I am, but rather standing up for who I am and showing that it will do good, that it will help the one who matters most in my life. So make judgement on my character all you want, but in the end, I know I am right. :D

Lets Give Him Something To Talk About

Thankfully it seems as though the politeness fairy has come along and hit Alex with her wand recently. He has been saying things like "Please" and "No thank you", even when he really does want what the person is asking. He is starting to request more things in ways that people can understand, while not completely losing his independence and being able to get things that he knows where they are.

I am hoping that with the activities I have planned for his summer, that he will continue to use his own words to talk with people, rather than phrases from things that they may not understand. I got in contact with the horse trainers and they said that he will be learning how to ride and care for the horse like it is his own animal, so that he can create a bond with the animal.

The last two nights he has stayed with his Aunt Amy at her house. From what I have been hearing, he has been a good kid, but didn't want to get out of his jammies. I told her it is like he is getting a vacation, where he doesn't have to worry about mom or Tony, he just gets to be a kid playing with Amy's puppies and relaxing. He had to stay with her because I had my tonsils taken out on Monday, and it hurts a lot, making it very difficult for me to talk. I am glad he has been a good kid for her, and this may mean that he gets a present when he comes home.

I am hoping that for Autism Awareness Month (April), I can get something organized through my work to bring this issue to the community around us. There are a lot of things about Autism that people don't understand, or things that they have heard some celebrity (I strongly despise you, Jenny McCarthy) state as being fact when really it is bullshit. Sometimes people can't get their heads around the fact that we just don't know what causes autism, but since they need to put the blame somewhere, they end up hurting more than helping. By just accepting that we don't know what caused it, but it is here, is sometimes the best thing you can do. Not everyone is cut out to be a researcher, because too many people want answers NOW. That is just not possible. Vaccines didn't cause autism, as much as people want to blame it on them. Alex is still at the age where he doesn't understand what is going on, or that he is even different from other kids his age. He accepts help from them when he needs it, he gets hugs and high fives from his teachers and classmates, and to him, this is what preschool is all about. Learn some stuff, and play with his friends. He knows that when he gets off the bus at Grandpa's house, that he can relax and have a snack, and wait for mom to get there. He knows that his mom and Tony love him, and even though he gets frustrated with us, anyone can tell that he is very sorry for not being able to understand us sometimes.

With these new words coming to him, he will open up a whole new world of awesome. He tries to communicate now, and when he finally gets it, there will be no stopping the creativity that flows from that child's brain.

Stress

For this mother, it is finals time. This happens two times a year, a time when my stress level is maxed out by trying to show that even though I am a few years older and have far more responsibility than they do, I can be just as smart as the rest of the post-high school crowd that I attend class with. I still have yet to figure out the perfect stress reliever for myself, and I get angry a lot at myself for not being able to be that parent who has nothing else going on in their lives other than their child. Sadly, everything is irritating me now, because it seems as though for every step forward I take, I end up two back. And what makes it worse on me is that Mother's Day is the Sunday before finals, so I will be cranky on a day when I am supposed to be happy. I know that it is normal to feel like a failure as a parent from time to time, but this feeling can really end at any time now...

One of the things that has been stressing me out during this time is getting Alex into a speech therapy program over the summer. This has proven to be a pain in my a** for a couple of reasons: One, the lack of people at the hospital to call me back, after I have left multiple messages. For two weeks I have been calling and calling, trying to talk to an actual human being in the speech therapy department, and have gotten their answering service every time. Then, when they finally got the clue that I was angry, the lady tried to pawn me off on another hospital, tried to say that the lady who had openings was not helping out people like Alex (this is without even asking if he had made any progress in the YEAR that it had been since she seen him last), and then she apologized for the scheduler AND the receptionist for the department being gone that day, even though it is the MIDDLE OF THE WEEK. She said she would have someone call me tomorrow, and if tomorrow comes and goes and I hear nothing, I promise that I will call them and let them know that even though they think of Alex as just another autistic kid, the people around him do not, and they are the ones who have seen how amazing he is doing.

In the mean time, we have been using the flash cards that I bought him and I even got him the Leapfrog TAG, which is the pen that can read to him. I can't wait to get him more books, because after fighting with it for a while, he finally understood that this pen can read to him, so now he goes through the book that was in the box with the pen five or six thousand times a day. We also have the feeling chart, where it shows pictures of the different emotions and will help Alex to learn how to describe how he is feeling.

This momma is ready for this semester to be over. Ready to be put under to get my tonsils taken out so what I can have a reason to just rest for a while. Since Tony and I's 2 year anniversary is coming up, maybe I will be well enough around that time where he and I can just spend some relaxing time together and that will help out my stress a little.