Holiday Season

While other families during this time of year are worshiping their faith in their own ways, in my little family of three we celebrate being together. During this time of year, I want Alex to grow up knowing that this is when we celebrate being a family, show how thankful we are to those around us, and we spend time together with our extended families. What I find to be very marvelous about Alex is that every time someone gave him a present, for a moment in time while he was unwrapping it, it was the most important thing in his life. He looked at each wrapped package and said, "OH!", then unwrapped it and had to check the whole present over before moving on to the next, which he was equally surprised about getting.

See. Just because our little family doesn't believe in god, doesn't mean that we don't have morals or treat this holiday season like it is just any old day.

This year was definitely a year of celebration of Alex when it came to the presents. Each of my siblings and my parents received an Autism Awareness ribbon for their vehicles, I got a button proclaiming that every day is Autism Awareness in our house, and Alex got an amazing shirt (see above). With the money that he received, he got a new pair of shoes and a new piggy bank that counts the money that he has saved in it. From Tony and I, he got a toy organizer and a book rack, some glow in the dark stars and a star gazer. But his favorite present came from Grandpa and Grandma, because they got him a train. Leave it to Alex to make sure that my mom and dad remain young by making sure they get down on the ground and help him put together his train tracks.

Alex did an amazing job this year with everyone together. He is gradually getting better and better about the family gatherings, and it was remarked a couple of times how his speech is getting so much better. He was able to cuddle on the babies a bit, eat some food with us all, and open his presents, with no major melt down. We are trying to find a good way for him to communicate his wants and needs to others who don't know his language, without feeling like he is frustrated and needs to freak out.

He has been enjoying all of the time that he and I have gotten to spend together this past week. We cuddle up and read and watch TV while Tony is at work, then we have some family time when he gets home. Yesterday we went shopping and had a late lunch together. We all really enjoyed it. I think that Tony and I are doing a great job of getting Alex to realize that we are not leaving him (at least, not for extended periods of time) and that he can rely on us to help him out if he needs it. He still, though, has his stubborn moments where he wants to do things himself, and gets frustrated when he can't.

When people look at my family, it is sometimes silly that they think that they see everything. Yes, Tony and I are not married, but that doesn't mean that we don't have the partnership. There are plenty of marriages out there where the woman or the man does everything and their spouse does nothing. We may not be married, but that doesn't make us any less "Mom and Dad". Just because we only have one child, doesn't mean we don't know what it is like to have multiple kids. Our child can be fine one minute, then have a major melt down and destroy the house the next second. It takes both of our brains together to help Alex with what he needs. To me, Tony and I share a bond that goes far beyond what some piece of paper proclaims. We have an understanding that we will both be there for each other, have each other's back, and be grateful for one another every day. We are grateful that we have Alex in our lives, because he is different, just like we are. We all fit together, like the puzzle pieces were made for each other. We didn't let Autism change how we felt about each other, but it did make us evaluate how we are as parents, and what Alex needs from us. As we move forward in this adventure, the three of us are going to continue to have each other's backs. With the closing of this year, we look forward to the changes that this next year brings, and we will always be thankful for everything we have, especially everything we have in each other.

First Field Trip, A Success!

Well, today was an epic day in the life of our little social creature. This morning, we went on his school field trip to the Children's Museum in La Crosse, and what a time he had! His favorite was the models of the Mississippi River, and the changes it went through by having dams put in. He collected all of the boats and sent them down the river, and then he made them go through each dam individually. His second favorite thing was the massive train table, and he and I both agreed that he and Grandpa would have a great time with one if only they could talk Grandma into letting them have one.

He also had fun pretending to be a fire fighter, and driving the fire truck. He would turn the lights on and off, and make driving noises as he was steering the wheel. He was ready to put out some fires, except he didn't want to wear the hat.

This is a pretty big thing for him. A new place, with some new people, and he had a blast! This place was made for him, with all of the things to do, the lights, the action, and of course, I was there with him!

After the museum, he got to stay at school and have lunch with his friends. He tried pineapple chunks, but thought they were too tangy for his taste. He ate his peanut buttered bagel, his cheese sticks, and of course his french fries. He had some party snacks this afternoon, and his teachers said he had a blast today! This is a good sign for the testing of how he is going to do when he has to stay at school the whole day, which we are going to try this spring. A couple of days he will go in and experience what it is like to be a Kindergartner, and learn what is going to be expected of him once he is past Preschool. I am sure, however, that he is up to the challenge!

His interest in books is growing, so I found this app for my phone that is a phonics game with a turtle. His name is Tommy, and you can have him walk across the letters to have them sounded out fast, slow, or in the middle. Alex really likes this game, and likes sounding out the letters. This is a great way to get him starting to read! I told him that once he learns how to read, I am positive that he will be smarter than I am in no time, because he will read anything! I also have this feeling that once he starts to read, his language will get better because he will be exposed to so much more language, and that he will begin to understand more words much easier and better too. And then both Tony and I better be prepared for some serious talking!

Since I have Winter Break and I am going to be doing some studying on my days off, I got Alex an art supply set so that he can do some projects (since he won't have school until January 2nd) while I do studying. He is going to work on some Christmas cards (but people will get them post-Christmas, because I am slow like that), and then he will probably make a book with me. We will work on more phonics stuff, cutting and gluing things (and we hope that Daddy doesn't come home to find us glued together).

All three of us want to wish all of you out there who read this babbling a happy holiday season. Alex is excited for presents, I am excited for the break from school, and I think that even though he doesn't say it, Tony is excited that I have a break from school too (less stressed me means a better world for him :) ). I will probably post again after our family's holiday celebration and talk about how Alex did with a house full of girls, something that he should be quite accustomed to from all of the holidays he has had to put up with it though. No wonder why he says that Daddy and Grandpa are his best friends. They have to deal with all of the girls just like he does! That and, I guess, he has a pretty awesome Daddy in Tony, and my Dad is an amazing Grandpa.

From our family to yours, Happy Holidays!

Its Christmas Time, I Swear!

So our little Alexzander is making quite an impact on this year's preschool class! He has been doing great with the transitions from playing to working on their projects, and he has gotten the title of "Circle Time Police" because he will not let anyone sit idle during circle time! He is doing a wonderful job at doing all of the assigned tasks that he is given, and usually the only day they really have any problems is on Monday (but really, who among us wants to do things on Monday mornings?).

We have decided that he is going to start using people's names more. For example, the other night I told him to say good night to Tony and Erik, and he walked up to Tony and said, "Good night dad!" then walked over to Erik, looked at him a second, then said, "Good night dad?" we laughed, said "No...", so he switched it to, "Good night.... Name." We reminded him that it was "Erik", and since he has a really big love obsession with the movie "Monsters vs Aliens", he said, "Good night Derick." Close enough.

To add another chore to his chore chart, and to get Alex into feeling more like it is Christmas around here, I got him a little Christmas tree of his own to take care of. He watered it, and was really excited about it. Now we just have to make sure the cats don't eat it. There is still no snow in our valley, but once that comes and stays around, I think that Alex will be even more excited about Christmas coming. Right now, he probably thinks we are all lying to him because there is no snow on the ground... so it can't be almost Christmas!

The past week, we tried something else new. I didn't help him on to the bus this week. He was really scared one day, but for the most part he was alright just walking up to the bus and getting on. The first day, he stopped at the base of the steps, sighed, and told himself he could do it. He climbed up the steps and sat in his seat like the big boy he is, and rode to school. Such a big step for such a little guy! I am trying to make sure that he understands that he can rely on people when he needs to, but that he also has to be independent enough to do things on his own. It seems as though I am at the right point of balance between the two.

Today was a rough day for me, because I am dealing with the death of my godfather, my Uncle Phil. I cuddled with Alex and cried a bit, and he hugged me and gave me a kiss, then told me it was ok. I like how now, I can ask him simple questions and he will answer me. Like, I asked him if he thought I was a good mommy. He said, "Sure!" I asked him if he could pick any mommy in the world, would he still pick me? He looked at me and said, "Um... Yes." I am taking this as a good sign that I am doing something right. He tells me he loves me, and today while I was crying that he "loves daddy too", even though he wasn't here at the time to hear it.

In closing, I wanted to leave you with a quote from the "Always Unique Totally Intelligent Sometimes Mysterious" page from Facebook:

"Even with the increased awareness about autism, unfortunately there’s still a stigma surrounding the disorder, and it’s definitely a problem for families. Even in the best of circumstances, your life becomes very different. You’re constantly adapting, doing what you have to do just to survive, and the level of energy that effort requires is hard to imagine, if you haven’t been there. Society has no real understanding of autism, or awareness of the bizarre behaviors which are a part of the disorder. As parents we logically know that we have no reason to be ashamed of our child, but many times we feel responsible for who they are. The most important thing is to realize that autism is not tragic; our children are alive, healthy and wonderful. Our autistic children are whole, not broken and our own lives, by extension, are also whole and full of potential. Ordinary and motivated parents can overcome seemingly impossible hurdles and make an extraordinary difference in their children's lives. Autism has helped many become better families. It teaches us patience and understanding. Autism changes everything. We change the way we see ourselves, the ways we parent, our immediate future, and our long-term future. But we go on and overcome it. Every family has different experiences and outcomes, but every single one of us works hard to procure and provide something therapeutic every single day. But no matter how different it is for us, we have a lot in common too. One of the biggest things we have in common is how much we worry. We don't know what the future holds for our kids, and there is a lot to worry about."

If you have not liked this page, it is a really interesting one to read if you want to learn about autism. Until the next time I find time to write (I have finals next week, so it will probably be after that), I wish you all the best, and Alexzander says, "OH! Hello!"