Operation iPad: All Systems Go!

Another great week!

This week, Alex has really kicked the "being social" aspect up a notch by playing Ring Around the Rosie with some girls at school. I would have loved to been able to see this in person! But, last night we had two of his cousins come to our house for a few hours, Lauren and Leah, and he played really well with both of them!

This week, we also got the money from Children's Miracle Network for Alex's iPad! Tomorrow, Tony is going to go to Best Buy and get it, the warranty (of course), and a cool case for it. I also got a list of all of the applications that he plays with at school, got a list of applications recommended by several autism websites, so we will be ready to get this guy learning (I am most excited about getting full use of my phone back, without the battery drained because someone had to play "Tap on Tommy" so mcuh)! So next week's entry will probably be about all of the fun he had with his new toy!

Allow me to take a moment to vent a bit. Parents of non-autistic children are funny sometimes because it is so easy for them to think that we are bad parents in certain aspects of our children's lives because we have to do things a little different. I will give you an example, although realize that each autistic kid is different and this may not be the case with others. Tony and I would LOVE to have a meal with our child. However, he is a very picky eater. And I like how some parents say, "My child is a picky eater too, and I just make them deal with it." No. Not like mine. Here is a list of SOME of the things Alex will not eat: Meat... of any kind, most veggies, fruit that is too tart, things that he cannot recognize right away, certain kinds of chicken nuggets, and soups. That is just the short list. And it is not a case where it is just getting him to like these things, it is that he needs to be able to recognize what he is eating, things cannot be mixed together, and it has to be a consistency that he can handle, otherwise he will gag on it, and possibly throw up. He can't take cough medicine because of this, nor those thin strip things that go on your tongue and dissolve.

So what does Alex eat? Cheese, of almost any kind, potatoes, cheesy noodles, peanut butter (only) sandwiches, breads, and his gummy vitamins. We get his daily fruits and veggies in him via juices, and he drinks chocolate milk and a LOT of water. We are hoping that when he gets further in school and sees his friends eating different kinds of food, he will begin to feel better about it. But unless we want to lose all of the food he has eaten during a day, we cannot FORCE him to eat things. And this whole thing is very difficult when coming from a family who gets together and eats. Alex is not that big on food, which may confuse a lot of the other family members. However, I have begun working on my own issues with food, and I am starting to realize that there is nothing really wrong with Alex's take on food.

Another bit that other parents just don't get is that it doesn't matter, for the most part, what words I say. Alex is starting to understand a lot of words, but he still doesn't understand a lot more. This means we have to do a lot more showing what we want, not just telling. Its not us "doing it for him", it is us communicating with him what we want.

So this is my plea to parents of non-autistic children: Lay off. By you opening your mouth just to feel like the superior parent, really makes you look silly. By talking behind our backs, it really makes you look ignorant, because instead of asking why we do things to understand, you jump to the conclusion that we are just weaker parents than you are. Not true. If anything, we are stronger parents than you are, because the "normal" parenting doesn't work, so we have to find alternative ways to help our children grow.

And to those who don't judge, who have our backs, and understand that the stuff that we do might not make sense now, but will later.... Thank you. You really are priceless to us.

The Intricate Makings Of The Social Creature

What an amazing week in the world of Alexzander Silas! Where to begin! Well, I suppose that the best place to start is the beginning, and when we come to the end... we will stop.

This was a great week in the life of Alex. He was sent home a goals sheet for the second semester of 4-year old Kindergarten, and there was the cutest note on the bottom from his teacher. She basically said that most of this list of goals Alex already has down, but getting him to share what he knows with us is a challenge! Some of the goals are counting to 20, counting objects, identifies shapes, identifies letters... you know, the stuff he is good at. Other things, like the social things, he is less good at it. For example, he has to be able to seek out peers as play partners. This is something that he has had trouble with, due to his inability to express his wants and needs verbally. I know that he has spend a lot of time watching his classmates interact, and he wants so badly to go over and play too, but he is unsure how. This has always been a major block separating his peers from him.

Until this past week.

In the notebook, his teacher told me about how he walked up to one of his classmates, Kaden, and said, "Do you wanna play trucks?". When I read this, I could not stop hugging him! Kaden said yes, and they went and played trucks together, which is SO AMAZING! Hopefully, with Kaden's reaction and when he and I talked about it when I came home that night, Alex will understand that what he did was amazing, and that when he wants to play with a friend later, that he should do that again!

But things just kept getting better for Alex!

On Thursday, we went up to see my oldest sister, Angela, and her baby Megan who turned one year old on Friday. Alex played with Megan wonderfully, like normal, and Angela and I discussed what he did at school. Well, when we went over there again on Saturday for Megan's party, Angela was bragging about how well Alex has been doing. When we were driving home after the party, I explained to him that she was telling her husband's family about what he does because she is proud of him, just like Tony and I are. I told him that he may not understand why people get so excited about the things that he does, but we are all proud of everything he does!

At the party, he played with all of his cousins (they are all girls) unlike he ever has before. He was on a social roll this week!

I was talking to a co-worker this week, and she said that someone I went to school with said that I was "weird". This is true. I always have been. But I thought about it more and more, and I think that this being weird thing, this ability to think outside of the box made me the perfect candidate to be Alex's parent. Beyond that, we found Tony, who also explodes the box because he thinks so far outside of it, and I think that with this combination, we are making the leaps and bounds forward with Alex. I, in no way, ever thought that I would have a normal family. I am not normal, and I just can't be. That is just too boring to me. What normal family has a trampoline in their living room? What normal family gets surround sound so Lady Gaga and Black Eyed Peas can come from EVERY DIRECTION? What normal mom comes home and sits on the bed with her son and helps him tell about his day, via singing? What normal parent lets their 5 year old read their calculus book? I mean, not to give you all a heart attack or anything, but its true. I am not a normal mom. I can never, will never, be the soccer mom that drives the van. I am going to be the mom that drives the black Camaro, listening to heavy metal and rock music, tattooed, and everyone thinks she works at a mystery science lab job for some government agency.

Probably.

Some New Information to Think About

So, I am not feeling the best today, but I am going to try to remember everything I wanted to say in this week's post. Here we go!

We got the application in for the iPad, and now we get to play the waiting game! When I have some down time, I look for other applications that I can get for free on my phone so that he can practice, but so far I have not found anything as good as his "Tap On Tommy" game, of which, he is getting far too good.

My Biotechnology professor sent me a link to the Yale website that has a bunch of speakers talking about various aspects of autism. I have only watched one so far (it was an hour and a half long) and it was about the social issues with autism. What struck me is the way he put how social behavior is looked at by a person with autism. When an autistic walks into a room, he or she sees THE ROOM. They notice the patterns on the floor, the color of the walls, what the lights look like... everything. But when someone else enters the room, the first thing they think about are what the people in the room are going to think about them. Autistic people could really care less about what people think about them, while that is the most important thing to other people. I found this striking for two reasons: One- That my child has the ability to do what I wish I could, and that is not really care about what other people think about me. And two- that autistic people care about the world around them, what happens in it, and notices what so many other people are too busy to notice. Which lead me to ask, this is a negative thing... why? But, I look forward to watching the rest of the videos, which goes through autism in infants and all the way up through to adulthood.

Another item that I watched on Autism was the PBS Nova Science Now! episode called Autism Genes. In it, they have been trying to hone in on the gene that they think is responsible for autism. I think during my break time on Monday at school, I will look up more on this to see what I can find.

But how has Alex been? He has been doing wonderfully, however I as mom would really like this bad attitude that he gets occasionally to go away. He has not been listening to me the greatest this past week, but when it is just him and I, he seems a bit better about it. And of course, today him and Tony had to fight a lot to the point where my head was just ringing. Boys... sheesh.

This week he will go to school with Valentines for all of his friends, signed all by himself. He also sent all of the other ladies that he loves in his life Valentines, so I hope they like his signed cards and their presents. And hopefully, for next week's post, I will be feeling a bit better so that I may remember more easily everything I wanted to say.

For those of you interested, here is where I found all the amazing material from my professor!

http://autism.yale.edu/

Doctor Day Blues

This week, our darling Alexzander had to go to the doctor. I scheduled him with the nurse from Pediatric Specialties (they specialize in doctor visits for children with special needs) that was there when he was diagnosed with Autism, and she was amazed with the progress he has made! She was excited to see that he was in good health, but still a very picky eater. She was glad that we are finding ways to get the nutrients he needs in him despite this. He is perfect in weight, he is on the tall side for his age (of course), and she, like all the other women who know him, is jealous of his eyelashes.

But, with all the praise, he still did not have a good trip to the doctor. It was a new place, scary, with a bunch of unfamiliar people. AND, he had to get two shots and some blood drawn. The two shots were his Preschool immunization shots, and she suggested another shot, however, his insurance didn't cover it, so I have to find a way to get it for him. The one shot has been making him very tired, and yesterday while I was at work, he got sick, threw up on the floor, so Tony let him take a 2 hour bath (putting warm water in periodically, of course). When I got home, Alex was passed out on the couch. Even now, he has been a little bit better, but he is curled up in Tony's blanket on the floor. But, he has at least eaten today, drank some juice, and has been talking to us. He even watched an episode of House this morning (he loves that show).

When the doctor was trying to give him his exam, he would tell her what all of her instrumentation was called and he would use it on himself and sometimes her, like her stethoscope. She was quite amazed that he knew all of the names! He even took my blood pressure, making sure that I was healthy too. But then, the terribleness started.

They took some blood just to make sure that he was ok. They wanted to test for lead in his blood, since he does like to put stuff in his mouth that doesn't belong there. When he got the shots, it only took 3 of us to hold him down, but when he had to get his blood drawn, it took three of us and Tony. But, after the shots and blood being taken, Tony took him to get chicken nuggets and fries before taking him to Grandpa's house so he could relax. When I got there after work and school to pick him up, he was still treating me like I had ruined his life, putting him through unmentionable horrors. But I reminded him that there is no one else he would rather cuddle with at the end of the day than me.

The doctor sent us home with an application for the Children's Miracle Network, in hopes they will give us money for an iPad for Alex. I want to get him two, one for here at home and one for Grandpa's house, because I think that he would benefit from the lack of distractions at Grandpa's house, and here we would be able to help him figure out how to play games and find him new apps to conquer here at home. Also, that way, we don't have to worry about it being broken during transport. I am thankful for the hospital doing this for us, but it is times like these when I wished I was not a poor college student and could get the stuff that would benefit him, no matter the cost. One day, hopefully within the next year, I will graduate and be making money and finally substantially contributing to our household. HOORAY for becoming an ADULT!

I have said it before, and I will say it again, I am so surprised by the amount of people who are interested in my child. Before this all started, I just figured it would be me and him, and I didn't want to be one of those parents that pushed him in everyone's faces and forced them to love him. Instead, he has done it all on his own, capturing people's hearts. I am equally surprised every time I get a message saying how much people like reading my blog about him, and, even though I don't have the time or publishing company, how people think I should turn this into a book.

Alex is a one of a kind kid. As the "Always Unique Totally Intelligent Sometimes Mysterious" page on Facebook stated, "For a person with autism to behave as "normal" would be unnatural. They offer amusing & imaginative humor which brightens up the day." Its true. And he would not be that way if it were not for the people he has in his life, who are there no matter what, every day. We all have a part in making him who he will be in the future.

Scary, huh?