Love, Mom

Today, I would like to dedicate this post just to Alex. This is one of the posts that I hope he finds when he has grown into a man and reads it to see just exactly how we feel about him and all of the hard work he has done in his life. While things come easy to most kids, Alex doesn't have things come to him like that. For many social situations, he has to practice a response that he is comfortable with, and often people are confused by his response. This makes the gap between what Alex wishes to convey and what the person understands greater, which causes more frustration on Alex's part. However, things are getting better, everyday. Alex is learning more words to deal with certain social situations, and even though many kids know how to naturally react to things, Alex needs to learn how to react to things. So for this post, Alex, or Future Alex, I would like you to feel like you are proud of yourself. Hold your head up high. We are all extremely proud of you. Tony and I try, everyday, to make sure that you get the most out of the day as possible. We try to make sure that you are in a calm environment so that you don't get frustrated easily, and although we harass you, we do it just so you remember that we are there and so that you will giggle and laugh. We know that sometimes, we push too hard, or pick too much, and this makes it so you shut down on us and yell. We don't do this to be mean, but we want you to understand that we want you to be able to handle those types of situations when they arise and we are not there. You will not always be able to just sit there and read for hours, trust me, I have tried. The phone will ring, someone will want something from you, or any other number of random things could happen. We like you to have a routine, but not so much of one that it makes it hard for you to do something different from time to time. The idea that we will not always be around hurts to think about, but it is something that we think you need to be prepared for. We will always love you, no matter what. We want you to understand that we will always be here for you, and even though things seem hard, you should push through and do the best you can. That feeling you get when you finish a project at school, so that you can go and play? I live off of that feeling. That is the feeling of you being proud of yourself, and I want you to feel that way all the time. At this point, everything is confusing. I cannot promise that it will not get worse before it gets better. There may be people in your life who are mean to you. You may feel hopeless a lot. But you should never forget the tons of people who are always there for you. You are growing up, and this isn't a process that is going to stop. Ever. When things seem like they will never get better, you should remember that you have two parents who are there to talk to, grandparents, aunts and uncles, cousins, and friends who will all listen. Even if you don't know the words, we know the language of Alex enough to understand what you are trying to convey. I read stories every day about kids being bullied, and I want you to know that you don't have to put up with that. You are intelligent. You are amazing. You are a strong little boy, who will one day turn into a man. And every step of the way I am proud of you and love you. Find the outlet that makes you happy, and go with it. I often feel like I have no idea what I am doing. But the people around me who tell me I am doing the right thing make it so that I have the power to continue. The world will get bigger for you, and it will be really daunting. But you can do it. I know you can. And although you are only 5 1/2 years old right now, I can see that you are a very amazing little boy, who won't take shit from anyone. Don't lose that. Don't ever forget about how hard work will pay off in the end. Don't forget that being kind will cripple even the most ferocious bully. And don't forget that most important emotion that I made sure to teach you and get you to understand: Love. We love you Alex!

IEP for Kindergarten

Not to sound pompous or anything, but again, I wish to brag about my kid for a moment.

Alex is VERY smart.

Thursday, Tony and I went to his annual IEP (Individualized Education Program) meeting at his school, and we set up some new goals for him for Kindergarten. The main goal is that we would like him to understand that we want him to share what he knows with us, because we just want to know that he knows it. Right now, he will not just outright show you what he knows, and it is very difficult to get him to say, "Hey! I know how to do that!". Also, this will be very important in Kindergarten because the teacher wants them to understand that they can learn from each other just as much as they can learn from her, so Alex will have to learn how to explain what he knows to those that might have trouble with it. He will have Camp Kindergarten and Jump Start over the summer, as well as meeting a few times with Mrs. Spann. This should help him to transition into the new world of being a Kindergartner.

We are also going to work on more social skills. Since he is right where he needs to be with the academic part of what is expected of him in Kindergarten (and maybe more advanced than he is expected to be), we are going to work on getting him to use his language more to do things like tell us what he thinks about things, put words to emotions, and even work on asking for more things.

Also new in Kindergarten, he will have gym class, art class, music class, along with his speech therapy and occupational therapy. At the moment, we are not sure who his aid will be for next year, however, we are all on the same page with thinking that the aid will only be there until he gets into his routine, and then he will not really need the aid anymore. Now I must really face the truth- My little boy is growing up!

On Thursday, Alex spent the night with Aunt Amy. He got sick and slept a lot, and stayed there until Saturday. He had a pretty good time from what I heard. I think it was really good for him, even though it was not in his regular routine so now he is punishing us by being difficult. This gave Tony and I time to go to a concert, to a movie, go bowling, and remember that we are more than just parents. We missed Alex a lot though, and we got him two new books. We had family time on Saturday night and all day Sunday, even though Alex still was not feeling the greatest. We can tell he missed us too, because our hugs were just a bit tighter than normal.

There is nothing really major going on in Alex's life this week, so this will give him a chance to relax and get back into his routine. He is always much happier when he is in his routine.

Going to the Dentist!

This past week has been rather trying on Alexzander, because we have had to do so many things that are not in his typical weekly schedule. He has taken it like a champion, though. These are the moments that you rave about as a parent. When your child does something that is so hard for him and succeeds, and you see that look of pride on his face because he knows that he did something amazing. This week was full of those for Alex.

Tuesday morning I got a phone call saying my Uncle David passed away. He was 54 years old. Alex OK with him being around, because my Uncle David, in Alex's eyes, was just like my dad's other friends... like an extended version of his Grandpa. My parents wanted Alex to come over to their house on the bus after school that day, just because Alex always has the ability to make them smile. He and I made them supper, and had the whole family get together for supper that day. It was tough on Grandma and Grandpa both, but Alex did manage to cheer them up before they had to go and help make arrangements. Although he didn't see his great-Uncle before he was cremated, I did sit him down and explain to him that Uncle David wasn't going to be coming down to visit Grandpa anymore, and when we went to go see the fireworks in July he wasn't going to be there either. He was a great kid at the memorial service for him on Saturday.

This morning he went to the dentist, so he didn't go to Preschool. When we got to the dentist's office, he played with the other kids that were there, and when they called him back, I said, "Remember in your book, that the little girl got to go and sit on the big chair? That is what you are going to do!" When we got into the room, his eyes lit up, with the look on his face of "Holy cow, this is a real place!" He jumped up into the chair, and told the hygienist that she had to count his teeth. She found him a green (his favorite color) tooth brush and started to brush his teeth. He showed her how he brushes his teeth, and she told him she wanted to count them. She let him feel her hands in her gloves, and said that that is what it was going to feel like when she was counting them. After she was done, she went to go and get the doctor, and said he did a very good job. He was beaming with pride. He was so happy, it was honestly really weird. When the dentist came in, Dr. Shay, Alex helped him turn on the big light (that's very bright) and he also looked at his teeth. He put the little mirror on a stick in his mouth, and I thought Alex was going to hate that, but he did a great job letting Dr. Shay look at his teeth. After that part was done, Dr. Shay put some fluoride on the green tooth brush and brushed his teeth again. Alex thought it was weird, so I had to hold down his hands so he wouldn't stick them in his mouth, but he did a great job with that. After he was all done, he told Alex that his teeth were perfect, and that he should just keep drinking water and brushing his teeth every day. Alex loved that, because that is what was written in his book! Alex got a new tooth brush, some tooth paste of his own, floss, and a super-bouncy ball! When Alex was leaving, he waved at the receptionist and said, "Bye Bye! See you next time!" (another thing that is written in his book). We did the elevator hug (Alex doesn't like riding the elevator unless you hold him, it feels too weird when it takes off for him) and I hugged him tight and told him I was so proud of him and how good he did with Dr. Shay, to which Alex replied that he was "so proud of US". I told him while we were waiting for his treat of chicken nuggets, french fries, and chocolate milk that I was going to brag to Dad, because I don't think even he could do that well at the dentist!

For the rest of this week, it will also be a mash up of random things that are not normally in Alex's schedule. He is going to Aunt Amy and Uncle Andy's house on Thursday, to spend a few days. I told Alex he will have to smile at them and blind them with his pearly whites. Thursday is also the day that Tony and I go in to his school to do his annual IEP. I look forward to setting goals that Alex will smash in Kindergarten! Wish us luck!

Hunting Easter Eggs and a Haircut

I am writing today, right now, to try to bring some joy to this day. And honestly, what parent can say that talking about how awesome their child is does not bring them pleasure? This whole last week, Alex had off from school for Spring Break, and I think he had a rather great time! He got to spend Monday and Tuesday with Grandpa, Wednesday and Friday with Tony, and Thursday with me. He decided that my running shoes are called "Thing One and Thing Two", and puts them back in the shoe box and shuts the lid, then carries them around the living room. He is a bit obsessed with Dr. Seuss, I must say. But its adorable.

Sunday was Easter, and with that, a family get together at my parent's house. Alex was able to go outside and hunt for eggs, which he did fantastically! He found over 25 (with just a little help), and would run to grab the egg and put it in his basket happily. I was carrying the basket for the first little while, but when he saw the girls were all (for the most part, except the babies) carrying their own basket, he wanted too also. However, by that time, his Easter Turtle Basket was so full of eggs, when he would run, some would drop out. So he had to be careful so he could keep all of his treasure in the basket.

We also cut his hair last night, and he did an absolutely amazing job (see picture)! He tilted his head when asked, he held down his ears when I needed to go behind them, and the only time he had problems was when I was getting down close to his neck, only because it tickled so much! I accidentally nicked him a couple of times, once on the ear and once when he jumped as I was trying to get the hair by his neck. But otherwise, he was happy once he was all done and got to take a bath, even had to rub his own head because he was so proud!

I got a copy of his Student Progress report on the goals he has for this year. The best thing to read on this sheet of paper is that he "shows even more awareness of people, objects and activities in the classroom environment, and has been much more interactive with teachers, therapists and peers." Go Alex! He is doing an amazing job using meaningful language, and will ask his teachers and peers for things like an object, or if they want to play.

I think that one thing that everyone must realize is something that I guess I have kind of taken for granted his whole life. Alex doesn't need a lot to be happy. He doesn't need people to make him happy, he doesn't need a lot of toys or adventures. He is totally happy with his iPad, a book, or just being in an environment he feels comfortable in. Even though this makes it hard for me to take him to new places, see new people, or even experience new things, it is all worth it when he is at home, his feet kicked up in the reclining part of the sofa, and playing his matching game. Even though it is hard, a lot, for people to understand that I really don't care about what I have to give up so that he can be happy, I will gladly miss outings with friends, late night movies, and parties so that my child can giggle because he found the number zero, or even practice spelling words and learning how to read them. I missed out on being an early 20-something, and now that I have gracefully fallen into being considered a late-20's individual, I really don't care what I missed. It makes people think that I have just crawled out from under a rock, but I still don't care. Both Tony and I have an amazing relationship with Alex that will last the rest of his life because of these sacrifices, and he trusts us and loves us enough to be one of only about 20 people he will talk to. As he expands his world, slowly but surely, he will hopefully remember that no matter what, he can come back to us and feel comfortable. No amount of stuff that I missed out on could ever replace the feeling that I have a lifelong bond with my child.

Aunt Bill and Autism Awareness Day

This week went alright for Alexzander, though he is still in recuperation from playing with the girls last weekend. This week, he has Spring Break from school, and my family is getting together for Easter so he will get to participate in an Easter Egg Hunt at Grandpa and Grandma's house. Last year, he had quite the leg up when it came to hunting the eggs, because Erik was here to help him. We will see how he does this year!

I was also able to get a video of Alex reading this week. A couple, actually, but I will post my favorite one:

He enjoys Dr. Seuss so much. He gets excited when he sees any of the books in the store, and when he is at Grandpa's house, he watches it on PBS. I am glad that he likes it so much, and that it is helping him transition into reading so nicely!

Yesterday, Aunt Bill (Thea Aspenson) came over, and Alex got his Christmas presents (yes, it had been that long since we have seen her!) and he got some Easter presents. What a great way to start Spring Break! He dealt really well with us catching up, mostly just ignored us (as guys are prone to do) and played with iPad. He joined us on the couch later, and helped us eat some popcorn. He reminded his aunt how goofy he still is, and even showed her that he can read!

The week after his spring break is going to be a long one for me. On that Monday is his dentist appointment, and his iPad application about going to the dentist will hopefully help make the experience a little easier for both of us. But even if it doesn't go ok, on that Thursday, the 19th, he gets to go over to Aunt Amy and Uncle Andy's house to spend the weekend, which will make the whole week worth it. That day, I also have to meet with his teachers and some other staff from his school to discuss what we are going to do for him over the summer, and set up his IEP for next year. I am thinking of putting him in Camp Kindergarten, then have him join the Jump Start program. Those two things, along with swimming again this year, will make sure that he is not too bored this summer, and that he keeps learning!

Tomorrow, April 2nd, is Autism Awareness Day. Autism Speaks has the Light It Up Blue campaign, so I encourage all of you to wear blue on Monday. I would, but I did not get a blue shirt for work in time. However, I did make sure that all of my co-workers would be set with their Autism Awareness ribbons (a Christmas present to them from Alex) so they could show their support! It is a great day to think about autism and the effects it has had on your life, and I know that it has effected mine for the better! To learn more about Autism Speaks and their Light It Up Blue campaign, visit these two sites:

http://www.autismspeaks.org/

http://www.lightitupblue.org/