Losing Teeth

Alex, these last two weeks, has again reminded us (Tony and myself) that things change fast. He is growing up, getting taller all of the time, and just this last week, he lost his first baby tooth.

I explained to him that this is showing that he is growing up, and that eventually, all of them are going to end up falling out. However, unlike Grandpa, we don't have to go out and buy him new teeth, his big boy teeth are going to grow in as his baby teeth fall out. He has had excellent teeth at his last check ups at the dentist, and now at the next one (which I have to schedule) they will be excited for him that he is not only at this stage of dental development, but that he is taking it so well. He is already working on his next loose tooth, wiggling it every chance he gets.

And the one right beside it is ready to come out too!

This last week, his teacher hurt herself at school, so he has had to deal with a lot of new things. I think as long as we continue to explain to him honestly what is going on, he will accept any situation. We don't do the whole tooth fairy thing, however I do tell him that dad and I will give him $1 for every tooth he loses, big boy teeth are exempt from this though. Some people may say, "Oh you are ruining his childhood!" Not really. He has one of the coolest imaginations ever. He doesn't seem phased by there being no tooth fairy.

One tough thing we have to address though is his aggression toward his peers when he gets frustrated. Now that my semester is over, I am going to take some time to read up on it and see what works with Alex. We have tried the social stories, I have tried to explain to him how hitting hurts others, and that even though he is frustrated, he shouldn't hit anyone. Thankfully (if you could say that), aggression is common among autistics because of their frustrations, so there is a lot of literature out there.

I am going to try and be crafty and make him a picture schedule for at home, since the one he has at school is working so well, and maybe get him his own calendar to put things on. Days that he has school, days he gets to see Grandpa and Grandma, when he has to do his homework, just to make mornings and evenings a little bit easier for him. I think I am going to even add on there the times that these things happen, so that he can transition into learning the importance of time and sticking to his schedule.

The last couple of weeks has been pretty chill at our house, which I am thankful for because of all the stuff I have had to do. For the next three weeks, I am allowing the chaos to come forth, because I will have extra time to handle it. It probably won't, but hey, a girl can dream?

Three Days of Spring Break, Two Autism Parents, and an IEP Done in the Library

Time sure does fly when you barely have time to breathe. Last week, I turned 27 years old, Alex had an amazing time at the sock-hop at school, Tony and I visited Alex's class to talk about my job and Autism, and it was IEP time yet again.

As you may or may not know, Alex adores music, and loves to dance, run and jump whenever some is playing. I wasn't sure how he would handle it being loud and with a bunch of children around having fun too. But he loved it, and his teachers said he was too cute with his rosy cheeks and strutting his stuff out on the dance floor.

Dancing the day away!

On my birthday, Alex sang me Happy Birthday, and Tony and I had a nice day while he was in school. Alex was most excited about birthday cake, and getting to have some. After all, what is a birthday (even a 27th one) without cake?

Alex had a great spring break, getting to spend a bunch of time with Grandpa, then he went outside and hunted Easter eggs on Sunday. Family functions can still be sort of overwhelming for Alex, because he is not used to so many people being at Grandpa's house when he is there. But he shares his grandparents well with the others, and tries to interact as much as he knows how. That is really all we can ask of him.

On the first day back to school after spring break, Tony and I came into the class and discussed Autism. I thought this was an important thing to do not only because April is Autism Awareness month, but also because the kindergartners really didn't have a word to describe Alex. They are taught (and very well) that everyone is different, and that we need to respect these differences because they are what makes all of us special. I explained to them that when Alex hits, or yells, or bits, its because he is trying to communicate with them, and doesn't know how. This causes him to become frustrated, like anyone can get frustrated when they don't know how to do something. I compared the way his brain functions to a different type of computer, and explained what it is like when his senses are overwhelmed. I think this is very important for kids to know so that instead of getting angry at him for the things he does, they can start to understand and work with him a bit more by saying, "Alex, I know you are frustrated because you want to tell me something, or ask me something. How about we go play?"

Giving the kids the word "Autism" to describe Alex's behavior was important because it is expanding their vocabulary in regards to other human beings. To me, I like to use the real words, and not just state the obvious. A good example can be found in what Alex knows about his Aunt Bill. She has cerebral palsy, and I use those words with Alex instead of saying, "Her legs don't work the same way yours do." Giving him the words so that he understands what is going on is much more important than just brushing it aside. By giving words, you are empowering the difference in a positive way (at least I think) because you are not hiding it like it is something to be ashamed of.

Still learning about spiders.

Mom brought goggles from her job!

Library- One of Alex's favorite places to be.

Autism Awareness Cupcakes are really yummy.

Family picture!

Alex didn't mind having us at school for a while, he was actually really proud I think.

We even decorated puzzle pieces and then put it together. It was really hard, but showed us that we are all different, and if we work together, we can do anything!

After coming to his class, Tony and I then met with teachers, the Special Education Director, and his various therapy teachers for his annual IEP. IEP stands for Individualized Education Program, and we do a new one for Alex every year (Learn About IEPs Here). We review the goals we set for him last year, see where he is at with them and write them down again if he still needs to meet the goal, and make up new goals that we would like to see him work toward. For most parents, this can be a really stressful and frustrating time, but for us, we have a very open relationship with all of Alex's teachers, which is important to us, and it makes it so everything just goes much smoother.

To start, we went around the room and introduced ourselves, and said one thing that we were so happy that Alex has accomplished in this last year. Alex really has come a long way since last year, he is becoming more independent, and we decided that this is something that we would like to see him work more toward. We want to start putting his daily activities more in his hands, so he walks himself from class to class, sits down and does his work on his own, and follows his schedule without prompting. We also added in things like tying his own shoes (he knows the steps, but is still working on his coordination to do so), and of course interacting with his peers more.

I think the most exciting thing that I learned at the meeting was from his phy ed teacher. She said that she is amazed by his hand eye coordination, and just his physical fitness in general (he doesn't get any sporty-ness from me, that is for sure). He is very strong, can throw and catch really well, and when I told Grandpa and Grandma this, Grandma said, "That is because of the millions of hours we spent tossing the ball back and forth across the bed to each other." Good job, Grandma. Otherwise, just like last year, we are all very excited to see how much Alex grows from year to year. He says hi to people in the hallway, and he has a lot of kids that look out for him. I know that Mrs. Harger is going to be sad he is not in her class anymore, and Mrs. G even told us that she misses Alex in the afternoons when she goes to help another little boy in Westby. Its great how much he touches people, and how close he is to everyone even though communicating is hard for him.

One thing that I have had to learn is that I can do what I can do, and that is all. Alex will be who he will be, and all I can do is do the best I can to give him the tools he needs to have a great life. I think that a lot of autism parents need to remember this, especially when they are sitting in the hallway crying because they feel overwhelmed and like they are the worst parent in the world. By remembering that you are not alone, that things will be better, and there will be a smile on that little face again, you find the strength to pick yourself back up and finish out the day. Every day is a new adventure in Autism, and the best thing you can do is... give it all you've got.