Social Stories Help With Big Changes

Its been two weeks since I posted something, but I really do have a good reason for it. I had to do a massive amount of homework to make sure I keep caught up because I have a job now! I am so excited. I started last Wednesday, and I am testing water samples for various things. Basically, I get to do experiments and work in a lab all day, problem solve and collect data, and get paid for it. I am so in love with my job, there really is no words to describe it. And, they are a very family orientated company, so they like that I have a child, and they work with me as far as my schedule goes.

Another thing that I have been up to is that I have been getting prepared for my talk that I am going to give on April 3rd to Alex's class about Autism. I have been reading a lot of things, about how to explain autism to children (reading from sites that talk about how to explain it to siblings), and getting some pretty great ideas. I am still undecided about a snack idea, but I think something will come to me. I ordered a blank floor puzzle with 36 pieces that I am going to have the kids decorate, so that I can use it as an example of why "Autism Awareness" is a ribbon with puzzle pieces, and when all of the pieces fit together, it is a wonderful work of art.

Last week, Alex had a pretty exciting 2 weeks! He was friend of the week first:

PBIS: Be kind, respectful, and have a positive behavior, and get rewarded!

And then, there was a big change. Mrs. G has to go help another little boy in a different school in the afternoons, so Alex is learning how to not only share her with someone else, but he is also learning how to rely on others more. Now Mrs. Stellner helps him in the afternoons, and for the most part, reports have been positive. He has had a little bit of trouble with it, but he has a social story that we try to read every morning before school to help him remember that everything is going to be ok.

The next major thing, is he is pretty much over his camera shyness at school. Following is a series of pictures that he actually turned and smiled at his teacher for! This is so exciting!

Pretending with a friend.

Playing with Puzzled Penguin.

Just happy!

Cuddling a lot of toys!

With the change, we have been really focused on making sure he understands that just because things are a little different, we still expect him to do all of his normal things, like his art projects, worksheets for math and penmanship, and even homework. While we did have one day where homework didn't go so well, so I had to find him 4 pages of homework online (he only had one sheet sent home, but I made him do four as a "punishment" for ripping up his expected homework), that he did with no issues. Since then, he has done his homework fine for both Tony and I. We are all unsure though if it was because of the Mrs. G change or if it is because he is not really a fan of writing on the back sides of papers. I guess we may never know. But he is working hard, and that is all we ask. I am very passionate about raising him with the same work ethic that was instilled on me. It has done me well these past 27 (because my birthday is this Thursday) years, and I hope that with it he will also be able to go on to do amazing things.

"This is a orb web."

Lastly, I would like to reiterate, or at least point out, how important the social stories have been in helping Alex to learn proper behavior, and to deal with new changes. They are an irreplaceable tool that I highly recommend for an Autistic child. They have, over time, helped Alex to cope with things that sometimes he doesn't understand, because being reminded of them in a story form makes them more comprehensible. We "neurotypicals" can be quite confusing sometimes. The link below is Alex reading his social story about how to properly deal with his anger in some situations. That has helped him to learn how to not bite or hit, even though he gets mad and wants to.

Alex's Social Story

I hope that it won't be another two weeks before I get to post again, because I do have a bit of work to do for school that I want to get caught up on, and I have a lot more to learn for work. However, I will try to at least post more pictures for next week. But I will leave you with these two bits of artwork that we received from Alex. Normally, it is hard for a child with Autism to have good penmanship, but Alex is practicing a lot, and doing a really good job!

How This Autism Mom Thinks

I know this post is a little late, but I have been thinking about what I am about to write a lot, and while it does anger me to no end, I feel as though I have to present it as coolly and calmly as possible.

When a person who loves someone with Autism says they hope that there is a cure found, its rude. While there are days that I wish things were easier with Alex, most days I am so unbelievably happy that he is who he is. I have, for my son, what is called unconditional love, meaning I don't want him some other way, I like him just the way he is. I don't wish for change. If I were offered some magic pill tomorrow that could "cure" him, I wouldn't take it. Both Tony and I love Alex just the way he is. It is not cruelty to him, but rather it is just one of life's many lessons that he has learned earlier than other kids his age: Things are not easy. Life is not easy. To me, it is like the crazy people who think that they can "cure gays". No. You can't. It is who they are. And it is what makes them fabulous. I want to know what made Alex this way. What happens, why it happens, and when it happens.

When I see someone say that "God intended this", I shake my head. People use that for so many different things, it sort of gives us Atheists whiplash. It makes no sense. Alex is different, and we don't know how this happened, but science will figure it out sooner or later. Just because there is not yet an explanation  doesn't mean that we should just chalk it up to some fairy tale creature and call it a day. I fight to make the unknown known, because I am a scientist. I am not just a "roll over and take it" kind of person. I call shenanigans on the "God has blessed them with this" as opposed to when a Christian hates you, it is "You are being punished through your child for your sins" thing. I understand that sometimes people need something to rely on for hope and answers, but to me, religion is just not an acceptable route. Things are far more complicated than that. One never found the why behind things by just sticking their nose in a 4,000 year old book, not understanding what the words meant at the time, and thinking it is the answer to everything.

These are the sort of people that you come into contact with in the autism community. We support each other in the struggles, but we also don't put up with people from the outside attacking. A prime example is Jenny McCarthy. I have made my distaste for her well known on my blog, and after posting a picture of her as being a "Strong Female Supporter" of Autism Awareness, one of the Facebook pages that I liked lost a lot of people. Many autism parents hate her because of the lies she has spread about Autism, and what she has even gone so far as to say about the parents of Autistic children. So yes, my loathing is justified. This is just an example of what the Autism community does to protect one another from this negativity and hate.

I think, after asking around a bit, I know what I am going to do in regards of awareness of Autism and how to treat Alex at the wedding reception. I asked Stacey, and asked online groups, and have come up with an idea. To let those who are unfamiliar with Alex know "The Rules of Alex Operation", we are going to make cards for the tables saying that all the money that would have been used for wedding favors has been donated to an Autism Awareness group, and here is what they need to know about Autistics. My major concern is the touch, because Alex is not a fan of people touching him that he is not familiar with. Beyond that, I would like Tony's family (some of whom have not met Alex and I) to know that he is not being disrespectful when he doesn't talk back or even acknowledge their presence, it is just who he is. He knows they are there, he is aware of everything in the room. But he needs to stay focused in order to have a good time. I am hoping that with this, Alex has a good time at a party that is just as much his as it is ours, and that Tony's family and my own family can come together to appreciate how awesome and different our little family is.

In three weeks, it will be Autism Awareness month. During that time, rather than focus on finding a "cure", I think that people should focus on how Autism really makes us realize that some of us are just different. Celebrate differences instead of insulting them. On April 2nd, I ask that any of you out there who wish to support Autism Awareness wear blue, and support those 1 in 88 who see the world differently. I am trying to come up with a good idea to submit to Alex's teacher, asking if I can come in and do an activity with Alex's class (I was thinking puzzle piece cookies, that they would get to decorate to show that "Not all cookies are the same, so why should we be?"). They are a great group of kids who support Alex every day, and I guess I want this to be a way to educate them a bit, while also saying thank you for being so awesome.

I will keep thinking about it, and hopefully I will have an idea by the end of this week.

So lets see... I have probably ticked off a lot of people because I have come out as an atheist in this post (and it is often confusing to a lot of people how a parent to a special needs child has the inability to believe in God), I reiterated and gave an reason for my hatred of Jenny McCarthy, and I pretty much described the Autism Community as a motorcycle gang (that would be totally awesome if we were). Oh, and I cannot forget how I also noted that those who "love" an autistic but are hoping for a "cure" for them, really do not love them unconditionally. I promise next week's post will be a lot less deep and it will have pictures again.

Awesome Hat, Man!

Can I show you all quite possibly the cutest picture of Alex I have ever seen? I will show the set to you, then explain what in the world is happening.

Monday, the Kindergartners celebrated Abraham Lincoln's birthday, and so they made hats! Alex loved wearing his, and it is reported that he even wore his after everyone took theirs off.

Let this be a sign that Alex's week started off amazingly. He has done such a good job these last couple of weeks, we could not be more proud of him. He, in his own way, is taking the positive behaviors lessons to heart. He reads his social stories every day about no yelling, no biting, and no hitting, and he is practicing being respectful to his stuffed animals when he gives them doctor check ups. I know when he gets frustrated it is hard for him to remember what he is supposed to do, but he is working on it.

On Wednesday, things started to go downhill for him. He started to get sick, like many others in his class, but his illness had another issue along with it. He told Mrs. Harger and Mrs. G that his ear hurt, but he wasn't pulling on it like he normally does when he has an ear infection. But when he went to Grandpa's house Thursday and Friday, we managed to figure out what was happening: He is getting in his 6 year molars! So Dad got him some ibuprofen and numbing gel on his way home from work, and Alex seems a-ok with the new addition to his mouth.

He was down Thursday and Friday, and he gave me his illness so I was sick the last half of Friday and all of Saturday. So Alex was in charge of taking care of me.

Today, I am feeling much better, and he is happy because Dad is home all day today. So what are they doing? Playing games.

Alex, I think, is just happy that he doesn't have to deal with mom all by himself today. 

Lastly, Alex is participating in Jump Rope for Heart this year! So, this being his first ever fundraiser, it is sort of special. Below is a link to his page, if you would like to donate. I have already explained to him what he is jumping for, and why it is important. I think he is excited, after all, jumping is one of his favorite things to do!

Alex's Jump Rope For Heart Page