Pictures and Changes

This week definitely had its ups and downs for our darling Alexzander. Pictures on Thursday did not go well at all. He was very scared of the new place, and Wendy was wonderful about it, but he just wanted to stay where he was comfortable and not sit where we wanted so he could take pictures. She did manage to get at least two good ones (I will find out how many good ones this next week) that she put up on Facebook, so I think that next year, we will see if she will come to us so he is a bit more comfortable.

We also rearranged our living room this week, and Alex is taking to the change very nicely. He loves the new stuff, and I think he felt rather grown up getting to help with stuff. I had Spring Break this last week, so he has had more amounts of Mom Time too. True, he has ignored me for the most part, but we have had some pretty epic cuddle times in there that were very nice.

His sentences are becoming clearer, and he has three Dr. Seuss books on his iPad that he loves to read. To me, it is like his vocabulary is broadening a bit, because he is asking for more things, asking for help, and says "Moooommmmmm?" constantly.

I still worry though, a lot, about his future. In just six months, he will be turning six years old. And yes, that floors me. I have really no issue with being 26, none at all. But my baby turning six? It makes me feel so old! I just hope that Kindergarten goes well, because there is where he will learn a lot more of the social skills he will need for school.

With all of the worries and stress and frustration that comes with having a child with Autism, I still would not change him for the world. He is unique, and looks at things totally unlike any other child his age. Tony and I are really lucky parents.

Zero and Love

There are two things that I am going to address this week for this entry, and I think I have to do so quickly so that we may hit the road to go find a new couch.

Item 1: The iPad. It has been wonderful watching Alex laugh, play, and learn using this thing. He has conquered a memory game, where he flips over cards that have the numbers 0-20 on them, and he completely loses it, laughing his fool head off, when he gets to match two zeros together. He also has read about going to the dentist (which he will have to next month), read Dr. Seuss, and one of his favorite things to do for fun is play Fruit Ninja (which he is scary good at, by the way).

We are still looking for a lot more vocabulary apps, because the couple that we do have he has down. But we will keep him going on the other ones also, just because practice makes perfect. This slim machine is quite possibly the best thing that we could have ever gotten for him. After only one week, he seems like he is more confident in what he knows, and gets excited to learn new things all the time. I am over the moon that the Children's Miracle Network granted us $500 toward the purchase of one.

The next topic that I am going to discuss is Alex's relationship with Tony. Because of me being gone so much, they routinely get to have "Man Time" together, and I think it is doing Alex (and Tony, but don't tell him I said that) a lot of good. I watch those two together and am nothing short of in awe how much Alex loves him. Although, being a lot like me, Alex is very stubborn and wants to fight back when being told to do something, so they do yell at each other. But, all is always forgiven when they play together, because Alex, much like me, can't stay mad at him forever. I am not sure what I would have done if Tony were not in our lives, because he has been a solid foundation in some very uneasy situations. When I am so frustrated I just want to cry, he is there to help.

Next month, April 16th to be exact, Alex is going to the dentist for the first time. Yes, it has taken me this long. What took me so long is that a lot of dentists in our area do not have any experience with Autistic children, let alone will they take their insurance. I am secretly hoping that the application on his iPad will help, and maybe, if I cross my fingers, Tony will have the day off so he can come with. This will be very new and very scary for Alex. And I know that Alex likes it when both of us are together, because it makes him feel more safe. I also know that Alex does get sad when so many times either Tony or I have to leave, and he is stuck with the other parent and we can't be together. I think he is starting to understand what his family is, and what he can expect from Tony and myself. He can expect to feel safe with us. He can expect us to always be there if he needs us. And, even though right now we are poor because I am in college, he can expect to get what he needs when he needs it. That is what a Mommy and a Daddy do. I don't think, even when we get married, I will be able to find the words to express how thankful I am that Tony is here for Alex, and that he is so great at teaching him things he needs to know. That is how I know that he loves us, both of us, because of everything he gives up just to be with us. I have said it many times before, and I will say it again... there is probably nothing I can buy, nothing I can say, nothing I can do to ever thank him enough. Alex has done everything he has because of everyone in his life, and the top two are Tony and I.

Well, now I have to go. The boys are ready and waiting for me. I hope you enjoy the videos, and I will hopefully have more pictures to share next week.

Operation iPad: All Systems Go!

Another great week!

This week, Alex has really kicked the "being social" aspect up a notch by playing Ring Around the Rosie with some girls at school. I would have loved to been able to see this in person! But, last night we had two of his cousins come to our house for a few hours, Lauren and Leah, and he played really well with both of them!

This week, we also got the money from Children's Miracle Network for Alex's iPad! Tomorrow, Tony is going to go to Best Buy and get it, the warranty (of course), and a cool case for it. I also got a list of all of the applications that he plays with at school, got a list of applications recommended by several autism websites, so we will be ready to get this guy learning (I am most excited about getting full use of my phone back, without the battery drained because someone had to play "Tap on Tommy" so mcuh)! So next week's entry will probably be about all of the fun he had with his new toy!

Allow me to take a moment to vent a bit. Parents of non-autistic children are funny sometimes because it is so easy for them to think that we are bad parents in certain aspects of our children's lives because we have to do things a little different. I will give you an example, although realize that each autistic kid is different and this may not be the case with others. Tony and I would LOVE to have a meal with our child. However, he is a very picky eater. And I like how some parents say, "My child is a picky eater too, and I just make them deal with it." No. Not like mine. Here is a list of SOME of the things Alex will not eat: Meat... of any kind, most veggies, fruit that is too tart, things that he cannot recognize right away, certain kinds of chicken nuggets, and soups. That is just the short list. And it is not a case where it is just getting him to like these things, it is that he needs to be able to recognize what he is eating, things cannot be mixed together, and it has to be a consistency that he can handle, otherwise he will gag on it, and possibly throw up. He can't take cough medicine because of this, nor those thin strip things that go on your tongue and dissolve.

So what does Alex eat? Cheese, of almost any kind, potatoes, cheesy noodles, peanut butter (only) sandwiches, breads, and his gummy vitamins. We get his daily fruits and veggies in him via juices, and he drinks chocolate milk and a LOT of water. We are hoping that when he gets further in school and sees his friends eating different kinds of food, he will begin to feel better about it. But unless we want to lose all of the food he has eaten during a day, we cannot FORCE him to eat things. And this whole thing is very difficult when coming from a family who gets together and eats. Alex is not that big on food, which may confuse a lot of the other family members. However, I have begun working on my own issues with food, and I am starting to realize that there is nothing really wrong with Alex's take on food.

Another bit that other parents just don't get is that it doesn't matter, for the most part, what words I say. Alex is starting to understand a lot of words, but he still doesn't understand a lot more. This means we have to do a lot more showing what we want, not just telling. Its not us "doing it for him", it is us communicating with him what we want.

So this is my plea to parents of non-autistic children: Lay off. By you opening your mouth just to feel like the superior parent, really makes you look silly. By talking behind our backs, it really makes you look ignorant, because instead of asking why we do things to understand, you jump to the conclusion that we are just weaker parents than you are. Not true. If anything, we are stronger parents than you are, because the "normal" parenting doesn't work, so we have to find alternative ways to help our children grow.

And to those who don't judge, who have our backs, and understand that the stuff that we do might not make sense now, but will later.... Thank you. You really are priceless to us.

The Intricate Makings Of The Social Creature

What an amazing week in the world of Alexzander Silas! Where to begin! Well, I suppose that the best place to start is the beginning, and when we come to the end... we will stop.

This was a great week in the life of Alex. He was sent home a goals sheet for the second semester of 4-year old Kindergarten, and there was the cutest note on the bottom from his teacher. She basically said that most of this list of goals Alex already has down, but getting him to share what he knows with us is a challenge! Some of the goals are counting to 20, counting objects, identifies shapes, identifies letters... you know, the stuff he is good at. Other things, like the social things, he is less good at it. For example, he has to be able to seek out peers as play partners. This is something that he has had trouble with, due to his inability to express his wants and needs verbally. I know that he has spend a lot of time watching his classmates interact, and he wants so badly to go over and play too, but he is unsure how. This has always been a major block separating his peers from him.

Until this past week.

In the notebook, his teacher told me about how he walked up to one of his classmates, Kaden, and said, "Do you wanna play trucks?". When I read this, I could not stop hugging him! Kaden said yes, and they went and played trucks together, which is SO AMAZING! Hopefully, with Kaden's reaction and when he and I talked about it when I came home that night, Alex will understand that what he did was amazing, and that when he wants to play with a friend later, that he should do that again!

But things just kept getting better for Alex!

On Thursday, we went up to see my oldest sister, Angela, and her baby Megan who turned one year old on Friday. Alex played with Megan wonderfully, like normal, and Angela and I discussed what he did at school. Well, when we went over there again on Saturday for Megan's party, Angela was bragging about how well Alex has been doing. When we were driving home after the party, I explained to him that she was telling her husband's family about what he does because she is proud of him, just like Tony and I are. I told him that he may not understand why people get so excited about the things that he does, but we are all proud of everything he does!

At the party, he played with all of his cousins (they are all girls) unlike he ever has before. He was on a social roll this week!

I was talking to a co-worker this week, and she said that someone I went to school with said that I was "weird". This is true. I always have been. But I thought about it more and more, and I think that this being weird thing, this ability to think outside of the box made me the perfect candidate to be Alex's parent. Beyond that, we found Tony, who also explodes the box because he thinks so far outside of it, and I think that with this combination, we are making the leaps and bounds forward with Alex. I, in no way, ever thought that I would have a normal family. I am not normal, and I just can't be. That is just too boring to me. What normal family has a trampoline in their living room? What normal family gets surround sound so Lady Gaga and Black Eyed Peas can come from EVERY DIRECTION? What normal mom comes home and sits on the bed with her son and helps him tell about his day, via singing? What normal parent lets their 5 year old read their calculus book? I mean, not to give you all a heart attack or anything, but its true. I am not a normal mom. I can never, will never, be the soccer mom that drives the van. I am going to be the mom that drives the black Camaro, listening to heavy metal and rock music, tattooed, and everyone thinks she works at a mystery science lab job for some government agency.

Probably.

Some New Information to Think About

So, I am not feeling the best today, but I am going to try to remember everything I wanted to say in this week's post. Here we go!

We got the application in for the iPad, and now we get to play the waiting game! When I have some down time, I look for other applications that I can get for free on my phone so that he can practice, but so far I have not found anything as good as his "Tap On Tommy" game, of which, he is getting far too good.

My Biotechnology professor sent me a link to the Yale website that has a bunch of speakers talking about various aspects of autism. I have only watched one so far (it was an hour and a half long) and it was about the social issues with autism. What struck me is the way he put how social behavior is looked at by a person with autism. When an autistic walks into a room, he or she sees THE ROOM. They notice the patterns on the floor, the color of the walls, what the lights look like... everything. But when someone else enters the room, the first thing they think about are what the people in the room are going to think about them. Autistic people could really care less about what people think about them, while that is the most important thing to other people. I found this striking for two reasons: One- That my child has the ability to do what I wish I could, and that is not really care about what other people think about me. And two- that autistic people care about the world around them, what happens in it, and notices what so many other people are too busy to notice. Which lead me to ask, this is a negative thing... why? But, I look forward to watching the rest of the videos, which goes through autism in infants and all the way up through to adulthood.

Another item that I watched on Autism was the PBS Nova Science Now! episode called Autism Genes. In it, they have been trying to hone in on the gene that they think is responsible for autism. I think during my break time on Monday at school, I will look up more on this to see what I can find.

But how has Alex been? He has been doing wonderfully, however I as mom would really like this bad attitude that he gets occasionally to go away. He has not been listening to me the greatest this past week, but when it is just him and I, he seems a bit better about it. And of course, today him and Tony had to fight a lot to the point where my head was just ringing. Boys... sheesh.

This week he will go to school with Valentines for all of his friends, signed all by himself. He also sent all of the other ladies that he loves in his life Valentines, so I hope they like his signed cards and their presents. And hopefully, for next week's post, I will be feeling a bit better so that I may remember more easily everything I wanted to say.

For those of you interested, here is where I found all the amazing material from my professor!

http://autism.yale.edu/

Doctor Day Blues

This week, our darling Alexzander had to go to the doctor. I scheduled him with the nurse from Pediatric Specialties (they specialize in doctor visits for children with special needs) that was there when he was diagnosed with Autism, and she was amazed with the progress he has made! She was excited to see that he was in good health, but still a very picky eater. She was glad that we are finding ways to get the nutrients he needs in him despite this. He is perfect in weight, he is on the tall side for his age (of course), and she, like all the other women who know him, is jealous of his eyelashes.

But, with all the praise, he still did not have a good trip to the doctor. It was a new place, scary, with a bunch of unfamiliar people. AND, he had to get two shots and some blood drawn. The two shots were his Preschool immunization shots, and she suggested another shot, however, his insurance didn't cover it, so I have to find a way to get it for him. The one shot has been making him very tired, and yesterday while I was at work, he got sick, threw up on the floor, so Tony let him take a 2 hour bath (putting warm water in periodically, of course). When I got home, Alex was passed out on the couch. Even now, he has been a little bit better, but he is curled up in Tony's blanket on the floor. But, he has at least eaten today, drank some juice, and has been talking to us. He even watched an episode of House this morning (he loves that show).

When the doctor was trying to give him his exam, he would tell her what all of her instrumentation was called and he would use it on himself and sometimes her, like her stethoscope. She was quite amazed that he knew all of the names! He even took my blood pressure, making sure that I was healthy too. But then, the terribleness started.

They took some blood just to make sure that he was ok. They wanted to test for lead in his blood, since he does like to put stuff in his mouth that doesn't belong there. When he got the shots, it only took 3 of us to hold him down, but when he had to get his blood drawn, it took three of us and Tony. But, after the shots and blood being taken, Tony took him to get chicken nuggets and fries before taking him to Grandpa's house so he could relax. When I got there after work and school to pick him up, he was still treating me like I had ruined his life, putting him through unmentionable horrors. But I reminded him that there is no one else he would rather cuddle with at the end of the day than me.

The doctor sent us home with an application for the Children's Miracle Network, in hopes they will give us money for an iPad for Alex. I want to get him two, one for here at home and one for Grandpa's house, because I think that he would benefit from the lack of distractions at Grandpa's house, and here we would be able to help him figure out how to play games and find him new apps to conquer here at home. Also, that way, we don't have to worry about it being broken during transport. I am thankful for the hospital doing this for us, but it is times like these when I wished I was not a poor college student and could get the stuff that would benefit him, no matter the cost. One day, hopefully within the next year, I will graduate and be making money and finally substantially contributing to our household. HOORAY for becoming an ADULT!

I have said it before, and I will say it again, I am so surprised by the amount of people who are interested in my child. Before this all started, I just figured it would be me and him, and I didn't want to be one of those parents that pushed him in everyone's faces and forced them to love him. Instead, he has done it all on his own, capturing people's hearts. I am equally surprised every time I get a message saying how much people like reading my blog about him, and, even though I don't have the time or publishing company, how people think I should turn this into a book.

Alex is a one of a kind kid. As the "Always Unique Totally Intelligent Sometimes Mysterious" page on Facebook stated, "For a person with autism to behave as "normal" would be unnatural. They offer amusing & imaginative humor which brightens up the day." Its true. And he would not be that way if it were not for the people he has in his life, who are there no matter what, every day. We all have a part in making him who he will be in the future.

Scary, huh?

Weekend Fun: Complete

What a weekend! I have to work the next two Saturdays, so Alex and I decided to get a lot done this weekend so that any time we do get together isn't overshadowed by me having to do homework or housework. He has been playing his "Tap on Tommy" game on my phone, and can now read all of the dozen or so words that it has on there. So what does this mean? This means that Tony and I have to save up to get him an iPad. It might take us a while, but we will try our hardest. Its not easy when only one of us works full time, and I have school stuff. He gathers information so quickly in that little head, that this seems to me to be the most logical next step.

I have noticed these past two days that at around 2 pm, when normal kids his age may be napping, that he does start to get a little more irritable, so I made him lay down and relax both yesterday and today, and when he got up about 2 hours later (he didn't nap, just read, talked to kitties, and talked to his stuffed Blue) he seemed to be in a better mood. I hope that by me doing this, it gets him into that frame of mind where laying down and resting isn't a bad thing so that when Kindergarten comes, he will be ready for it.

He loves outside. I took him for a sled ride today and even though he was sad that he forgot to take Blue along, he did have a good time. He loves snow! I think that his favorite thing to do in the snow is get it all over his boots then track it inside Grandpa and Grandma's house. It seems to be what he does every time I bring him there.

His talking, is getting better, and he is trying to repeat a lot of things that Tony says. Although his "V" sound sounds a lot like "B", and he sometimes adds "S"s where they don't belong, he is doing alright. He is doing great with the saying "Please" thing, and today he tried to get the kitty to say please to him because she wanted some of his string cheese.

Its amazing to watch him when all of us are home together. Its like he feels that his life is complete, because he is running around like a mad man, talking constantly, and just so overwhelmingly happy. When Tony was at work the last two days, he was pretty calm, read his books and listened to music, played with kitties, and was really good. But as soon as Tony came home, its like someone gave him a cup of sugar. Apparently, its like that when I come home too. At least we know that he loves us as much as we love him.