Kindergarten Here We Come!

This past week was Alexzander's last week as a Preschooler.

We started off the week by going to Living Waters, where we spent the day outside just having fun. It ended up with me being very tired (what a workout!) and Alex had a great day. So me being so tired for the next couple of days was totally worth it! He is now officially a Kindergartner, and I also received my copy of his IEP in the mail. Needless to say, we are going to do some work this summer! A few things that we are going to work on is writing his name, answering questions properly, following instruction with physical activity, recognizing patterns, and also playdates! He has summer school from June 11th through the 22nd, and after that he will have playgroup on Tuesdays until he has Jump Start in August before he starts Kindergarten. Mrs. G told Tony that he did a great job with being at school all day, so I hope that he enjoys it as much in the Fall.

Although a lot of aspects of Kindergarten are going to be rough on Alexzander, we are trying to make sure this transition goes as smooth as possible. He is going to have to start showing us what he knows, when we ask, and he will have to learn how to do a lot of things on his own. We want him to have independence while at school, so we will be working on phasing out the aid, and he will have to rely on his teacher more. We have to make sure he can calm himself down when he has a fit of being uncomfortable, but at the same time we want him to be able to tell someone when he is uncomfortable.

Then there is the food thing. We are going to try to get him to eat the hot school lunch with his classmates, but I know until things are in a routine for him, he probably will not eat very much. I found a blog called "The Thinking Person's Guide to Autism", and they had an entry about how some kids with autism cannot eat other foods because they are a sensory overload. They are used to the few foods they do eat, and they are only comfortable eating 15-20 foods.

Before I get too overwhelmed with the idea of getting him prepared for Kindergarten, I have to first realize that he has done so well already. He is using more words every day, and he did get the Preschool version of a report card this year. I was so happy to see that he developing or secure in all of the aspects that he needs for starting with a great foundation for his educational career. I know the toughest parts for him are transitions and peer interactions. There were even a few skills that he was labeled as developing after fall term, and now he is secure. For example: the skill of using conventional grammar. He went from developing to secure. Recognizing and recalling, throwing and catching, sorting objects, showing curiosity and motivation, fine motor skills, and retelling stories are some of the other skills that he is secure in.

And then... there was his portfolio. I received a book of his self portraits, a bunch of art projects, and his Preschool certificate. I almost cried because of all of the amazing stuff he did throughout the year! So many great projects. We are both (Tony and I) so proud of his accomplishments. While we both know we still have a lot of fights ahead of us, a lot of frustration and tears, it will all be worth it in the end.

Shaynan, Princesses, and Sneetches

This week has been a pretty wild one for our Alexzander. As per most of the posts that I write about his wild weeks, I will start at the beginning, and when I get to the end... I will stop. :) On Tuesday evening, Tony bought tickets for him and I to go and see Rob Zombie in La Crosse, so my friend Shaynan (we have been friends since high school) said she would come and spend the evening being entertained by Alex while we went out and had an evening to ourselves. Apparently, Alex took me telling him to "Be good" very literally, because he was a great kid for Shaynan that evening. He did everything he was told, went to bed easy (which, he hardly ever does for Tony and I) and the next morning he woke up a very happy kid, ready to take on the full day at school he had, so he could experience Kindergarten for the first time. When we were waiting for the bus Wednesday morning, I asked him if he had a good time, and he said yes. That day, he went to visit a farm and see all of the farm animals, and he even rode a miniature pony. He was quite sun burnt when we picked him up from school. He wasn't happy that he didn't get to go on the bus to Grandpa's house that day, but we bought him juice and some sour gummy worms, so he seemed to be better with the idea that he had to come home with us. Even with the changed schedule, it was reported that he did a great job, and that even though he didn't eat lunch, he did the rest of what was asked of him with little trouble. I am so glad that he enjoyed Kindergarten, because in 3 short months, that is where he will be! Thursday was a more normal day for him, where he went to school for his normal time and was able to ride the bus to Grandpa's house. He was able to tell Grandpa and Grandma all about the wonders of Kindergarten, and how unfair it was that he had to spend all day at school only to go home with the evil dictators, Mom and Dad. At least, that is what my father said that they talked about. Friday was a great Mommy and Son day. We started out the day by going to my school to run some errands, and when I parked on campus I parked in front of the beautiful chapel that is called "Mary of the Angels Chapel". It is where the Franciscan Sisters are. Alex got out of the car and looked up at it, and followed along behind me, every once in a while stealing a look at it. We got to the Murphy building entrance, and he said, "Princesses in the castle." I really didn't think anything of it, and I said, "Yeah, there are princesses in castles." When I got done with my errands and we went back to the car, he pointed up at the chapel, and he said "Princesses in the castle!" I looked at the church and it dawned on me, he thought it was a castle with princesses inside. I told him no, that it was a church and there were nuns inside. He asked if he could go see the princesses in the castle, and I laughed. I told him maybe next time we went to my school, he could go inside and see the princesses in the castle. After that, we went to get some lunch, and we stopped by the Cheese Corner to say hello to our cheesy people and eat. He chowed down almost his whole lunch, so I told him maybe later we could go get some ice cream. We went from there to the book store, where Alex's eyes lit up. He picked out two books, "Sneetches", and "If You Give A Mouse A Cookie". We went up to the counter and Alex handed his books to the man behind the counter, and said "Here you go", then proceeded to watch him very carefully. Those were HIS books, after all. The man put the books in a bag, and made sure Alex could see where his books went. I paid for them, he handed Alex his bag, and Alex smiled, LOOKED AT HIM, and said, "Thank you!" The guy smiled back, and said, "That is possibly the most polite little boy I have seen in here in a while." Talk about a proud moment! We went and got some groceries after that, and Alex was mauled by Aunt Bethanie right in the middle of Sam's Club. Hugs and kisses all over his face. He took it like a champ though, and just let her give him kisses until she was done. As we rode home, he read me "Sneetches" at least a dozen times, and declined my invitation for ice cream. After all, he can't read his new books and eat ice cream at the same time! His books might get dirty! When we got home, he began showing his way of thanking me for having such a good day. He told me I was pretty, and he even said that I was "gorgeous... girl..." So silly. Yesterday he had another fun day at Grandpa and Grandma's house. Today, we are going to the park again, and tomorrow he has my niece/goddaughter's first birthday party to go to. We are making a veggie tray, complete with some epic dill dip, and a fruit salad. I have to face facts that my little man is growing up fast, and if I don't take the time I will miss it. There are a lot of times where I feel like half of a mom because I don't have the "soccer mom" look to me, I want to play with blood for a career, and most of the music I listen to is usually really loud. But then I also think about all of the other things that I think I am half of. I feel like I am half a student. Half a teacher. Half a worker. Half of a pretty epic parenting duo. Which reminds me. Yesterday was Tony and I's three year anniversary, which is also the day that two years ago, we found out Alexzander was Autistic. We have gone on a pretty epic adventure the last two years, and I cannot wait to see what this next year brings us!

Nice Start to Summer

This past week was pretty busy. Since I am off from school, all I have is work three (sometimes 4) times a week. With this extra time, I have been able to exercise more, and on Friday Alex and I went to the park (and had it all to ourselves!). But I am getting ahead of myself. Lets go back a bit. On Wednesday, my family got together to celebrate Mother's Day, and Alex got to spend some quality time with everyone. He, Tony and I, kicked the ball around, ran after each other like weirdos, and tackled each other to show who was boss. Then, Alex went down and was some pretty epic moral support as Tony pulled a large, dead branch out of one of the trees. They started breaking it apart and tossing the sticks in the water, which lead to a revelation. Alex now LOVES throwing sticks in the water with dad. Thursday morning he didn't want to get ready to go to school, he wanted to go with dad over to Grandpa's house and throw sticks in the water. Their bonding is so adorable. Later that evening, he was sharing some of his delicious chips with his cousin Megan, had a water fight with his cousin Lauren with water guns (she kinda kicked his butt in the water fight), and went for a walk with me. He went to bed that night tired, and the bathwater was very dirty. That is how you know it was a good day. Now on to Friday. I put him on my back, piggy back ride style, and walked down to the park. We were there for almost two hours, just playing, laying in the grass, looking at bugs, clearing away twigs and sticks from the playground area, and talking to insects. Seriously. There was a fly that kept bugging Alex while he was playing on the equipment, and his response was to start flapping his arms and saying "Buzzz buzzz buzzz buzzzz", and when I asked, "What?" he told me he was speaking fly, telling them to fly away. Oh Alex. We went and got a "scoopa ice cream" and then went home, where he really didn't want to do anything for the rest of the day, however his iPad got some serious play time. So needless to say, I am going to block out time this summer for some picnics in the park, some more outside family time, and of course, swimming time. Busy summer ahead of us, but it will be exciting!

Mother's Day

Today is Mother's Day, a day set aside to remember those people who not only gave you life, but also those who were there throughout your life giving you inspiration, and never hesitating when you call out in need. A mother is not necessarily the one who gave birth to you, nor do I think it has to be a woman. What is regarded as the normal family is changing, and gradually the word "normal" is becoming lost because the thing that makes a family exactly that is love. I am so proud to be Alex's mommy. The last six years has been amazing, and every day I am trying to make myself a better parent than the day before. I have had the privilege of watching him grow and thrive, struggle and overcome, and even in a time when there is so much difference in the world, there are still people who feel the need to mock those that are not "normal" in their eyes. Being a mother who has had to fight for her son's difference makes me proud. Exhausted. Amazed. This past week, my son stood up in front of a large group of people, with his classmates, and sang at his first school concert. And he danced! I cried because it was so amazing to me. My little boy, the same one who doesn't like baseball because all eyes are on him when he is up to bat, got up in front of a large group of people and sang. These are the things that I look forward to as a parent, because he knew after everyone applauded that what he did was amazing, and he was very proud of himself. Many people who are not parents can't really understand why we do what we do as parents, or why we are willing to give up so much. We don't see it that way, that is why. No parent should ever be afraid of having a child that is different, but rather be proud of them for that difference. Big deal if there are people out there who don't see how amazing your child is. Live every day for that human being, because they are what is left behind in this world after you are gone. My son is lucky to have so many fantastic women in his life, who are proud of him just like I am, but I am the lucky one that gets to be his mom.

Alex: The Individual

Alex had a great week last week. He had a great week in school, and this weekend he got to spend all of Saturday with Tony and I both. However, today he had kind of a rough day at school, which is probably our fault. We did a lot of running around, and on Sunday he and I cleaned the house a bit, so I can understand why he was a bit tired today. This week in school, they are learning about pets, how to treat pets that are not theirs, and even how to respect them. And now, I would like to address my child's stubbornness. It is totally and completely true that he gets it from me, however, I get it from my father, so it is really Grandpa's fault. Some days it is great that he is so stubborn, because any other kid would just give up when things got too hard. Alex... he gets frustrated because he doesn't understand, but tries to. I give him credit for that. It is times when he is focused on something, and we need him to do something else, that is a problem. Transitions. He fights right away, a lot, and then gradually accepts his fate and does what he is supposed to. I am glad for his stubbornness even with the troubles that it causes, because it shows that he is my kid. If the whole "being a bookworm" thing didn't give it away, or the pasty skin tone, or his odd sense of humor... then the stubbornness does. There has been a general trend this week on the Autism pages that I am subscribed to, and that is the topic of seeing past the autism and looking at the personality of the individual. Other than the autism, here is what I can tell you about my son's personality: He is very stubborn (obviously), but at the same time he loves to laugh and make other people laugh. He is a hard worker, I can already tell, because he is so advanced academically. He loves to learn new things, especially if it has something to do with his favorite hobby: Reading. I have no idea what he wants to be when he grows up, but like his mommy, he loves science things (mostly astronomy stuff), he likes to swim, and likes cars and trains. He has his favorite people, who he likes to hang out with and play with. When he meets you, he won't say much, if anything, until he is sure how you will act around him, and he wants to make sure that you are staying awhile before he gets attached to you. He has a lot of old man properties, like his reading the newspaper and hanging out with Grandpa is often a priority. When you have his love, there is nothing else quite like it coming from another human being. He doesn't always know how to tell you that he loves you, but he will show you. You can look into his eyes and see the adoration he has for you. I know this because he looks at me, Tony, Grandpa and Grandma all the same way. While him having autism is something you just have to accept, there are many people in my life that just see him as that. I tell people that not so they will look at him differently, but rather so they understand that he is not a typical child. Our wedding, for example, is going to be one where while Alex is there, it will be very sensory friendly. The ceremony will be small, so Alex is not afraid to be up front with Tony and I. While we are still working on aspects of the reception, we do know things like a lot of clapping and the clinking of the glasses will not be happening just because he dislikes needless noise that he doesn't understand. There won't be a lot of toasts, and the music that will be played while he is there during the dance portion will be stuff he recognizes (things we listen to at home, like Black Eyed Peas, Lady Gaga, Kerli... to name a few). While this may make some people angry, I beg them to consider two things: 1. This is not just some party. It is celebrating the three of us coming together as a family, and our families being connected through us and thus, each person in the family must be respected. 2. If you are angry, it is probably because you don't know Alex very well. If he has a meltdown, people will then understand why we asked for these things to be discarded from the regular wedding line-up. We don't want it to get that far, because it will be very hard for us to calm him down without taking him out of the party completely. Wow. I have babbled for quite a while on this one, and I initially started with no real direction I wanted to go in. For now, I am going to go and enjoy some popcorn with my little man, because he loves popcorn. So until next week, as Alex would say, "Good bye! See you next time!"

Love, Mom

Today, I would like to dedicate this post just to Alex. This is one of the posts that I hope he finds when he has grown into a man and reads it to see just exactly how we feel about him and all of the hard work he has done in his life. While things come easy to most kids, Alex doesn't have things come to him like that. For many social situations, he has to practice a response that he is comfortable with, and often people are confused by his response. This makes the gap between what Alex wishes to convey and what the person understands greater, which causes more frustration on Alex's part. However, things are getting better, everyday. Alex is learning more words to deal with certain social situations, and even though many kids know how to naturally react to things, Alex needs to learn how to react to things. So for this post, Alex, or Future Alex, I would like you to feel like you are proud of yourself. Hold your head up high. We are all extremely proud of you. Tony and I try, everyday, to make sure that you get the most out of the day as possible. We try to make sure that you are in a calm environment so that you don't get frustrated easily, and although we harass you, we do it just so you remember that we are there and so that you will giggle and laugh. We know that sometimes, we push too hard, or pick too much, and this makes it so you shut down on us and yell. We don't do this to be mean, but we want you to understand that we want you to be able to handle those types of situations when they arise and we are not there. You will not always be able to just sit there and read for hours, trust me, I have tried. The phone will ring, someone will want something from you, or any other number of random things could happen. We like you to have a routine, but not so much of one that it makes it hard for you to do something different from time to time. The idea that we will not always be around hurts to think about, but it is something that we think you need to be prepared for. We will always love you, no matter what. We want you to understand that we will always be here for you, and even though things seem hard, you should push through and do the best you can. That feeling you get when you finish a project at school, so that you can go and play? I live off of that feeling. That is the feeling of you being proud of yourself, and I want you to feel that way all the time. At this point, everything is confusing. I cannot promise that it will not get worse before it gets better. There may be people in your life who are mean to you. You may feel hopeless a lot. But you should never forget the tons of people who are always there for you. You are growing up, and this isn't a process that is going to stop. Ever. When things seem like they will never get better, you should remember that you have two parents who are there to talk to, grandparents, aunts and uncles, cousins, and friends who will all listen. Even if you don't know the words, we know the language of Alex enough to understand what you are trying to convey. I read stories every day about kids being bullied, and I want you to know that you don't have to put up with that. You are intelligent. You are amazing. You are a strong little boy, who will one day turn into a man. And every step of the way I am proud of you and love you. Find the outlet that makes you happy, and go with it. I often feel like I have no idea what I am doing. But the people around me who tell me I am doing the right thing make it so that I have the power to continue. The world will get bigger for you, and it will be really daunting. But you can do it. I know you can. And although you are only 5 1/2 years old right now, I can see that you are a very amazing little boy, who won't take shit from anyone. Don't lose that. Don't ever forget about how hard work will pay off in the end. Don't forget that being kind will cripple even the most ferocious bully. And don't forget that most important emotion that I made sure to teach you and get you to understand: Love. We love you Alex!

IEP for Kindergarten

Not to sound pompous or anything, but again, I wish to brag about my kid for a moment.

Alex is VERY smart.

Thursday, Tony and I went to his annual IEP (Individualized Education Program) meeting at his school, and we set up some new goals for him for Kindergarten. The main goal is that we would like him to understand that we want him to share what he knows with us, because we just want to know that he knows it. Right now, he will not just outright show you what he knows, and it is very difficult to get him to say, "Hey! I know how to do that!". Also, this will be very important in Kindergarten because the teacher wants them to understand that they can learn from each other just as much as they can learn from her, so Alex will have to learn how to explain what he knows to those that might have trouble with it. He will have Camp Kindergarten and Jump Start over the summer, as well as meeting a few times with Mrs. Spann. This should help him to transition into the new world of being a Kindergartner.

We are also going to work on more social skills. Since he is right where he needs to be with the academic part of what is expected of him in Kindergarten (and maybe more advanced than he is expected to be), we are going to work on getting him to use his language more to do things like tell us what he thinks about things, put words to emotions, and even work on asking for more things.

Also new in Kindergarten, he will have gym class, art class, music class, along with his speech therapy and occupational therapy. At the moment, we are not sure who his aid will be for next year, however, we are all on the same page with thinking that the aid will only be there until he gets into his routine, and then he will not really need the aid anymore. Now I must really face the truth- My little boy is growing up!

On Thursday, Alex spent the night with Aunt Amy. He got sick and slept a lot, and stayed there until Saturday. He had a pretty good time from what I heard. I think it was really good for him, even though it was not in his regular routine so now he is punishing us by being difficult. This gave Tony and I time to go to a concert, to a movie, go bowling, and remember that we are more than just parents. We missed Alex a lot though, and we got him two new books. We had family time on Saturday night and all day Sunday, even though Alex still was not feeling the greatest. We can tell he missed us too, because our hugs were just a bit tighter than normal.

There is nothing really major going on in Alex's life this week, so this will give him a chance to relax and get back into his routine. He is always much happier when he is in his routine.