Alex has done a marvelous job the last few swimming sessions that we have gone to. He can now kick his way across the pool without the floaties on his back, however we are trying to get him to calm down when he is in the deeper water so he can realize that he can float. This last time, Danielle was floating him on his back and managed to get him calmed down by singing to him. But when we put him in the deep water with his fun noodle, he still whines and expresses his want to go to the other, more shallow end of the pool. He knows he can touch with his feet there, and I think he thinks that means he can have more fun. However, once he realizes that he can swim and stay afloat in the deeper water if he just calms down, then I think teaching him how to swim will be much easier.
With the summer coming to a close rapidly, I am finding I am getting a little depressed about some of the things I wanted to accomplish with him but did not have the chance to. His pencil grip still needs work, because he doesn't hold it properly, and I think he would have an easier time writing if he did. However, being stubborn is definitely something he is good at (I know, he gets it from mom), and so he thinks his way is the best way. I think, though, that my key to beating that might be with his sidewalk chalk. Last week, Aunt "Bill", Thea Aspenson, my best friend, came over and we sat outside and drew on the sidewalk. He had a great time, as did we, and he liked showing her that he mastered the letter R. So I think the more dates we have like that, hopefully we can con him into holding the chalk our way, instead of his way.
I find that there are times where I wish he understood me. I wish that instead of freaking out, he would understand what I am saying and stay calm. Its hard to calm him down when he starts freaking out, and a lot of the time I am scared he will hurt himself. He is so much better around a lot of people, and since I haven't wanted to spend much time at home lately and have brought him with to a lot of different places, he has started to not want to be home much either. Sadly, many things stand in my way of having a place that is big enough for him to run around and exhaust himself from having fun. My dream of building my own house was brought up yesterday and even though it was not a part of the conversation, I was thinking about how much space I wanted for Alex just so he could have a lot of room to be comfortable. I want him to have a big bedroom with a lot of things he loves, like books and cars. But then I know that with that dream life, I will be taken away from him so that I can work a bunch to pay for it all. Although this dream house may be a few years away, I find that I now am faced with the delicate balance that many other parents are faced with: How to make enough money and still be there for your child.
Everyone deserves a place where they can relax, and un-stress themselves. What I thought was going to be a lazy summer has turned out to be quite different. But I have learned that I cannot show that to Alex, because he knows how mommy is feeling, and if I am having a bad day, so is he. I love, though, how he tries to make it better, by making funny faces and sticking his face in mine and smiling. He has a great heart.
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