Aggressive Alex Isn't Allowed

Apologies for missing my post last week, but my grad school classes started on Monday, and I was bound and determined to get ahead of schedule, considering this is my first semester and I have no idea what I am in for. Not to mention, I am planning a wedding, looking for a job, and getting my research data gathered together for an oral presentation at the National Conference on Undergraduate Research (NCUR). I have been, how do you say, busy.

But the main point is that I am back, and boy do I have some interesting stuff to talk about. First, however, pictures!

We really know how to tire this kid out!

The snow is starting to go away, he is getting in the fun while he can!

So the good news is that Alex is becoming a pro at making sure he gets his outside clothes on in the correct order, and most of the time, he even has his boots on the right feet! But, then, the middle of last week, he started to get sick. He made it through and only missed one day of school (which, when he came home, he acted like nothing was wrong, he thought he would get to play with me), otherwise he was quite the trooper. I know he loves to be outside, so it was hard for me that day he was home and I wanted to focus on getting better, not playing with me.

From Friday of last week, Alex has been out of sorts. He was disruptive during class, did not want to do his morning chores, and he was being aggressive toward his classmates. Tony and I changed his nighttime routine, so it is the exact same every night, and I gave him a break Wednesday morning and had Tony get him ready for school. My mom and dad picked him up from school, and my mom said that he had a much better day than the previous days, and even the note on Thursday was reassuring, saying that even though a kid reported some wrongdoing on Alex's part on the bus, he was eager to do what was asked of him at school and did his morning jobs with no problems.

I have been reading about behavior management, especially what is effective for autistics. Unlike what some people think, you cannot simply yell at or punish an autistic the same way people do to other children. Instead, a conversation should be started about what was wrong with the behavior they showed, and how they can correct it for the next time. I have also been looking for an app for his iPad, something involving social situations and what the right way to treat your friends is, but I have not been able to find anything yet. I may have to have the Google extraordinaire, Tony, look for one. Or maybe Stacey... she is really good at finding things that I need too.

I was also trying to figure out last night, waking up every couple hours to think, about what could the problem have been. Why did he suddenly start acting this way? Was he just overwhelmed with the amount of "Mom Time" he was getting? Did he want to spend more time with Dad and just didn't know how to ask? Is he getting bored at school? I am stressing myself out a lot by trying to figure out the answer, and so I need to step back from the issue, and focus back on Alex, not the problem.

I need to take another picture break.

Playing with his new Hulk. 

Eating Yogurt Raisins and playing iPad.

Reading his new Guardian books.

He is struggling with new concepts in school, and he is still having aggression issues. I think that I have to face the fact that it is time to go back and see his doctors to discuss these issues. We need to figure out what we need to do to make his time in school less stressful for him, get him to start interacting with his peers differently, and help him to be as successful as he can.

I got a letter home from his teacher telling about how the quarter ends on the 23rd of this month, and that after this time they are going to start working on stuff they will need to be prepared for 1st grade. He struggles working independently (which I kind of laughed about because that is the only way that I like to work) and he has to learn how to work better with others at the same time.

I feel, well, a variety of things. Overwhelmed, because I guess I am not sure where to start. I feel sad because I know this is something that is going to cause a lot of fights between us and Alex. Lost. Angry. You know, all of those feelings that one would expect in this particular situation. I want to just cry... a lot. It is my job to handle this, and this is one of those times where I could not imagine being one of those parents that just rely on the school to do everything.

I need to take a breather. I need to just take some time with Tony and discuss what we should do. Meanwhile, I think I am just going to do more research on the subject, and hope that I can come up with answers. I cannot take many more sleepless nights worrying and thinking.