This Father's Day, I think it essential that I give a shout out to the two fellas in Alexzander's life that have been there for him no matter what, and continue to be there to help him in his quest to understand the world. Both my father and Tony have helped to make my child into who he is today: The fun-loving, charismatic, and simply amazing child who just happens to be autistic. He loves both of them, and watches them when they don't know it so that he makes sure his mimic of them is as close to the real thing as possible.

We will start with my father. He was so excited when Alex was born because finally he had another guy to be with. To date, my father has five granddaughters, and just Alex in the grandson category. He loves all of his grand-kids, but he has a special place for Alex, because they are so much alike. Not only do they have the same facial expressions, but they also both have the tendency to think like old men, needing to read the newspaper, looking at deals in the Menards flier, and making sure they get the tough stuff done before they get to play. My father has taught my son how to navigate the back roads throughout our whole county, know which day to go get fresh cheese curds (because Alex likes them best when they are fresh, and doesn't like to share), and has encourage Alex in his love of trains and cars by making sure he had a car collection to rival any other kid's. I never really had a grandpa, my father's father died before I was born and my mother's father died when I was young (and I can barely remember him), so watching the bond that my father has with Alex is pretty amazing. Alex's favorite place to be is with grandpa on the recliners at his house, reading and drinking water, preparing for the next "Grandpa Attack". When I was younger, my father was someone that you didn't cross, because he kept the fear in you to keep you in line. With Alex, he had to have a different approach, and now it is almost like they share their own language. I know Alex is grateful for his grandpa every day, because without him, who would help him off the bus and make sure that his water bottle is always full?

Then he has Tony. Tony is a lot like my father when it comes to discipline, because he knows what Alex knows and when Alex tries to so wrong, Tony is quick to intervene. Just recently, with the help of a sprinkler, I think Tony finally realized the effect he has on Alex, and how much he looks up to him. After all, who else could teach him how to catch the sprinkler water in his mouth and spit it at mom? Alex watches him dance in the car, and then mimics him, Alex will put on his shoes and wander around the house when he is gone. Though they haven't quite figured out how to efficiently communicate with one another, they are both learning. I know Alex gets frustrated when he wants to tell him something, and it causes Alex to freak out. But like most guys, they bond by physically tormenting each other, and tormenting me. I don't think that either Tony or myself thought that we would have to deal with such a big change so early in our relationship, but he stepped up when Alex was diagnosed and didn't ditch us. There are not very many guys in this world who would date a woman with a child, let alone a child with special needs, even less so would date a woman with a child with a special need that people know so little about. But he stayed with us, and I don't think he will ever understand how much that means to Alex and I. Its easy to walk away, yeah, but staying is where the adventure is. I hope that later in Alex's life, I can remind him of this and when he wants to just give up, I will say that Tony didn't give up on him, so why does he think he can just give up on himself?

For as much as all of us try to teach Alex, he teaches us things right back. He has taught me patience, understanding, and that as much as I would like to, I can't plan for the future all the time. He learns from these men and I hope that when he grows up, he is just as great of a man, just as great of a daddy, and when the time comes, an amazing grandpa, just like he has.