Love, Mom

Today, I would like to dedicate this post just to Alex. This is one of the posts that I hope he finds when he has grown into a man and reads it to see just exactly how we feel about him and all of the hard work he has done in his life. While things come easy to most kids, Alex doesn't have things come to him like that. For many social situations, he has to practice a response that he is comfortable with, and often people are confused by his response. This makes the gap between what Alex wishes to convey and what the person understands greater, which causes more frustration on Alex's part. However, things are getting better, everyday. Alex is learning more words to deal with certain social situations, and even though many kids know how to naturally react to things, Alex needs to learn how to react to things. So for this post, Alex, or Future Alex, I would like you to feel like you are proud of yourself. Hold your head up high. We are all extremely proud of you. Tony and I try, everyday, to make sure that you get the most out of the day as possible. We try to make sure that you are in a calm environment so that you don't get frustrated easily, and although we harass you, we do it just so you remember that we are there and so that you will giggle and laugh. We know that sometimes, we push too hard, or pick too much, and this makes it so you shut down on us and yell. We don't do this to be mean, but we want you to understand that we want you to be able to handle those types of situations when they arise and we are not there. You will not always be able to just sit there and read for hours, trust me, I have tried. The phone will ring, someone will want something from you, or any other number of random things could happen. We like you to have a routine, but not so much of one that it makes it hard for you to do something different from time to time. The idea that we will not always be around hurts to think about, but it is something that we think you need to be prepared for. We will always love you, no matter what. We want you to understand that we will always be here for you, and even though things seem hard, you should push through and do the best you can. That feeling you get when you finish a project at school, so that you can go and play? I live off of that feeling. That is the feeling of you being proud of yourself, and I want you to feel that way all the time. At this point, everything is confusing. I cannot promise that it will not get worse before it gets better. There may be people in your life who are mean to you. You may feel hopeless a lot. But you should never forget the tons of people who are always there for you. You are growing up, and this isn't a process that is going to stop. Ever. When things seem like they will never get better, you should remember that you have two parents who are there to talk to, grandparents, aunts and uncles, cousins, and friends who will all listen. Even if you don't know the words, we know the language of Alex enough to understand what you are trying to convey. I read stories every day about kids being bullied, and I want you to know that you don't have to put up with that. You are intelligent. You are amazing. You are a strong little boy, who will one day turn into a man. And every step of the way I am proud of you and love you. Find the outlet that makes you happy, and go with it. I often feel like I have no idea what I am doing. But the people around me who tell me I am doing the right thing make it so that I have the power to continue. The world will get bigger for you, and it will be really daunting. But you can do it. I know you can. And although you are only 5 1/2 years old right now, I can see that you are a very amazing little boy, who won't take shit from anyone. Don't lose that. Don't ever forget about how hard work will pay off in the end. Don't forget that being kind will cripple even the most ferocious bully. And don't forget that most important emotion that I made sure to teach you and get you to understand: Love. We love you Alex!