Alex: The Individual

Alex had a great week last week. He had a great week in school, and this weekend he got to spend all of Saturday with Tony and I both. However, today he had kind of a rough day at school, which is probably our fault. We did a lot of running around, and on Sunday he and I cleaned the house a bit, so I can understand why he was a bit tired today. This week in school, they are learning about pets, how to treat pets that are not theirs, and even how to respect them. And now, I would like to address my child's stubbornness. It is totally and completely true that he gets it from me, however, I get it from my father, so it is really Grandpa's fault. Some days it is great that he is so stubborn, because any other kid would just give up when things got too hard. Alex... he gets frustrated because he doesn't understand, but tries to. I give him credit for that. It is times when he is focused on something, and we need him to do something else, that is a problem. Transitions. He fights right away, a lot, and then gradually accepts his fate and does what he is supposed to. I am glad for his stubbornness even with the troubles that it causes, because it shows that he is my kid. If the whole "being a bookworm" thing didn't give it away, or the pasty skin tone, or his odd sense of humor... then the stubbornness does. There has been a general trend this week on the Autism pages that I am subscribed to, and that is the topic of seeing past the autism and looking at the personality of the individual. Other than the autism, here is what I can tell you about my son's personality: He is very stubborn (obviously), but at the same time he loves to laugh and make other people laugh. He is a hard worker, I can already tell, because he is so advanced academically. He loves to learn new things, especially if it has something to do with his favorite hobby: Reading. I have no idea what he wants to be when he grows up, but like his mommy, he loves science things (mostly astronomy stuff), he likes to swim, and likes cars and trains. He has his favorite people, who he likes to hang out with and play with. When he meets you, he won't say much, if anything, until he is sure how you will act around him, and he wants to make sure that you are staying awhile before he gets attached to you. He has a lot of old man properties, like his reading the newspaper and hanging out with Grandpa is often a priority. When you have his love, there is nothing else quite like it coming from another human being. He doesn't always know how to tell you that he loves you, but he will show you. You can look into his eyes and see the adoration he has for you. I know this because he looks at me, Tony, Grandpa and Grandma all the same way. While him having autism is something you just have to accept, there are many people in my life that just see him as that. I tell people that not so they will look at him differently, but rather so they understand that he is not a typical child. Our wedding, for example, is going to be one where while Alex is there, it will be very sensory friendly. The ceremony will be small, so Alex is not afraid to be up front with Tony and I. While we are still working on aspects of the reception, we do know things like a lot of clapping and the clinking of the glasses will not be happening just because he dislikes needless noise that he doesn't understand. There won't be a lot of toasts, and the music that will be played while he is there during the dance portion will be stuff he recognizes (things we listen to at home, like Black Eyed Peas, Lady Gaga, Kerli... to name a few). While this may make some people angry, I beg them to consider two things: 1. This is not just some party. It is celebrating the three of us coming together as a family, and our families being connected through us and thus, each person in the family must be respected. 2. If you are angry, it is probably because you don't know Alex very well. If he has a meltdown, people will then understand why we asked for these things to be discarded from the regular wedding line-up. We don't want it to get that far, because it will be very hard for us to calm him down without taking him out of the party completely. Wow. I have babbled for quite a while on this one, and I initially started with no real direction I wanted to go in. For now, I am going to go and enjoy some popcorn with my little man, because he loves popcorn. So until next week, as Alex would say, "Good bye! See you next time!"